


We Were Sitting On That Sofa

by teenuviel1227



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Camboys, Fluff, I know how the summary sounds but it is literally the softest jaehyungparkian i have ever written, M/M, Smut, bestfriends to lovers, porn parodies, very mild angst, videographer!Jae, writer!Brian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-02-07 12:50:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12841539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenuviel1227/pseuds/teenuviel1227
Summary: When they get fired from their jobs at a local network, long-time best friends Jae and Brian will do anything to keep the life that they’ve had for years--their co-signed loans, co-owned apartment, their routines. What they come up with isn’t exactly the textbook definition of filmmaking but they give it a shot. Somewhere along the way, they discover the long-time tension that’s built up between them has blossomed into love.Or the one where Jae and Brian are a redundated videographer and writer (respectively) who end up writing porn parodies starring their friends--and one day, when everyone gets the flu, are forced to act in the Christmas Special themselves. And when Brian shows Sungjin the playback, he says the thing Brian and Jae both know but have denied for years, “Dude, you can’t air this. This isn’t having sex, it’s making love.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cali4sell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cali4sell/gifts).



> Let’s have some fun, shall we? Also fair warning, I didn't tag for relationships because technically they aren't in a relationship within the story, but sexytimes happen between KWP, YDW, and PSJ--please see the summary.
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An idea, cup noodles, and a whole buncha phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap yourselves in, my friends. We’re going for another ride. :) I hope you guys enjoy this one. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)

“So what now?” Brian asks as he and Jae walk into their flat, tossing their stuff down onto the floor.

Jae lets his box of office things hit the ground--the framed photo of his family, the polaroid shot of him and Brian on their first day in the production room, and the small, potted succulent with a blue flower clatter as they hit the ground. One end of it hits Brian’s box, upending its contents onto the foyer floor--containing mostly magazines for moodboarding--and the clamor fills the apartment.

Brian plops down onto their couch, sighing against the familiar creaking of springs as it gives under his weight.

Jae follows suit, laying his head instinctively in Brian’s lap. Brian looks down at him, his dark fringe fluffing out against his forehead, his eyebrows creased in worry. Absentmindedly, Brian takes Jae’s glasses off, sets them on the coffee table, presses his index fingers to Jae’s temples, starts massaging him. Jae is prone to tension headaches. He half-closes his eyes, relaxes under the pressure of Brian’s hands.

Jae looks up at the familiar, blurred outline of Brian’s jaw, his lips, his nostrils that Jae’s always found adorable. “Well, BriBri--for the first time in my life, I don’t fucking know.”

It had hit them like an avalanche--small, subtle warnings and then suddenly there it was, crashing down on them all at once: the tiny drops in ratings, the small budget cuts somehow leading to them being called into the Producer’s office on a Tuesday afternoon, his mustache hanging a little lower on the left, his tie crooked, mouth twitching as he told them that the show was being cancelled and that they were being let go immediately.

With redundancy pay, of course, he’d said, as if that was much consolation given the fact that they’d just co-signed a rent-to-own agreement on their flat, co-entered a loan from the bank to pay for said agreement, the down payment due at the end of the month. They had some savings but they weren’t much--definitely not enough to pay the 2.4M KRW per month rate without the bank loan, and not enough to pay off the 1.2M KRW bank amortization for the coming five years.

They’d both argued for the show (a comedy featuring a group of friends post-college who run into different shenanigans), with Brian defending the quality of the cinematography and production design (mostly Jae’s work), and Jae insisting on the amazing script (making a case using the jokes from Season 2, Episode 5 that Brian slaved away for weeks perfecting). But in the end the Producer had said his hands were tied: corporate wanted to use the budget for other things. They didn’t think the show--however clever and well-thought-out--was going with the brand they were going for.

 _You mean brainless?_ Jae had retorted, losing his cool.

 _Ah no, he means a bunch of fucking sell-outs looking for mass-market dumb shit to sell to the lambs,_ Brian had said, taking Jae’s hand pulling him out of the room.

They’d been asked to clean out their desks, pick up their checks at accounting, and take the day off--well, take forever off, more like. As they’d driven home in silence, Jae’s thoughts were in a flurry of panic, thinking only of one thing: losing the flat and his life with Brian which he was very much attached to (not that he’d been in love with him since forever and just slapping the label FRIENDSHIP on it to avoid confrontation, no not at all). Brian was already thinking of the different things they could do just in case they weren’t able to pay off the loans--run away together, get married under fake names, start again (not that he’d ever thought of marrying Jae on the many nights that Jae’d crawled into his bed after a night terror episode, definitely not).

So here they are at six in the evening, Jae staring up at the ceiling, Brian giving him a massage as they contemplate what’s to come.

“Well,” Brian says. “I’ve got some sausages in the fridge we could throw into a steaming hot pot of ramyun. We can finish the wine that Wonpil left us from last week, just get drunk and prolong actually dealing with our problems.”

Jae sighs. “Should we, though? Shouldn’t we be scrimping? Saving up for the winter? Gathering our nuts?”

Brian brushes a hand over Jae’s forehead, puts his glasses back on before patting him on the shoulder to get up.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not gathering anyone’s fucking nuts. The day I can’t afford to cook ramyun, you might as well throw me in the Han and be done with it.”

Jae grins, sitting up and watching Brian make his way to the kitchen, watching the way that his sure and steady frame moves as he clicks the gas on the stove, reaches for the ramyun in the cupboard. It’s one of the many things Jae’s always loved about him--despite being the biggest crybaby in the world when it came to pets and movies and his family, Brian is probably the feistiest person he knows. Jae’s convinced it’s the one thing that carried them through their rough college years, especially when Jae had gone full-zombie while working on his film thesis and they’d both been working a number of jobs to make rent and keep their internships.

Brian glances over his shoulder, catching Jae’s gaze. He smiles, soft.

Jae blinks, feeling his cheeks grow hot. “What?”

Brian raises an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips. “Chop the onions?”

 

They manage to scrounge together a bottle of wine, half a liter of Tequila left over from Halloween Jae finds stashed under his bed, and some flavored peach beer they’d won at the company Christmas party the year before. Most of it is gone now, as is the huge pot of ramyun they’d devoured between them, every last morsel gobbled up. On TV, an old drama is playing--the second lead guy running after the lead girl as she runs after the lead guy.

Jae leans on Brian, head resting on his shoulder, both of them not really watching. Brian grins, resting his head on Jae’s, the familiar heft and scent of him comforting. Jae nudges his cheek closer and Brian plants a small kiss on the top of his head. They both grin. _It’s not like that,_ Brian thinks automatically. _It’s not like that with us._ He puts an arm around Jae, taking his earlobe between his thumb and index finger and rubbing softly, the way he know Jae likes.Jae hums against him, lets himself go limp against Brian, his whole body relaxing.

“Why are they always running right after their groceries are done? And what the hell is the lead guy always doing on a bus? People who can afford limos and shit just don’t take the bus,” Brian points out.

Jae laughs, taking a swig from the peach beer. It’s sweet, fizzy. “I’m so glad you never wrote anything like that onto _our_ show.”

“Hah,” Brian says, pouring himself a tequila shot and knocking it back. “If I had, they probably would’ve kept the show, those assholes.”

Jae snorts. “Can’t argue with that.”

“You know what I’ve always wanted to write?” Brian asks, suddenly recalling one of his ideas filed away under _If I Ever Have Nothing Better To Do With My Life_.

“What?”

On screen, the lead actress has dropped onto her knees, the bus containing the love of her life rolling away. An orange rolls just short of the gutter.

“A porn parody.”

Jae almost chokes on his beer, bursts out laughing. “Jesus, Brian.”

“No one can argue that it isn’t profitable,” Brian laughs, sitting up to face Jae. “And I mean--first off, you know how they say there’s porn for everything? There is literally porn for _everything_ so you’d never run out of ideas. The budget would be super freaking cheap and literally, all plots would revolve around getting it on so you’d never have to think about plot holes unless it was a bodily one.”

“And _what_ , pray tell, would you even do a parody _of_?”

“Glad you asked, Mr. Park. All the greats of course--starting with Star Trek. A simple one: enemies-to-lovers, the classic Captain Kirk does Science Officer Spock in the bridge.”

Jae laughs. “That’d be fun to shoot. It wouldn’t take much to make the bridge look awesome, I could play around with graphics. Then we could shoot the rest in a white room, maybe use some blue screen padding for the background--”

“--And there’d be like, really funny jokes then super romantic scoring--”

“--and no weird shots taken from below of like, balls bouncing.”

Brian laughs. “Yeah exactly. None of that. And it could just be a short thing. One or two scenes, delivered via e-mail. Then we could sell it on Twitter with a twenty-second preview. Payment through PayPal, easy breezy--”

“--beautiful,” Jae nods, starting to do the math: cost versus profit, different digital bonus packages, bonus content. “Then an additional five dollars for the b-roll.”

On screen, the episode ends, the next installment buffering. Silence falls between them, a question floating in the air, waiting to be reached for.

Brian clears his throat. “You know Pil used to cam?”

“What!”

“Back in college. He used to cam because bar tending tips were close to nil. Partial profile, mostly with Dowoon--”

“--WHAT!”

“--but sometimes with Sungjin--”

“--how do you even _know_ that?” Jae looks at Brian askance. “Dirty boy.”

Brian shrugs, cheeks turning pink. “I taught them how to do the editing.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, well--I dunno. It was profitable enough--”

“--people pay US $10.00 a month for video streaming,” Jae says carefully. “For files you can keep and download, I’m sure they’d pay a whole lot more--”

“--I mean, we’ve got equipment, we’ve got actors--” Brian lets his voice trail off, takes another shot.

Jae looks at Brian, gaze level, a small smirk playing on his lips as he studies Brian’s expression, knows from years of experience that he’s already thinking of the script, the set-up, the costumes. “Kang BriBri, are you asking me to co-produce porn parodies with you?”

Brian grins, pours Jae a shot. “Are you about to say yes?”

Jae knocks the shot back. "You call Sungjin, I'll deal with Do-Pil."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space: The Final Frontier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s smut but it’s funny.
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)

Brian wakes up with Jae in his bed, curled up against him. Jae’s nose is pressed to his neck, his breathing loud--the pillow’s blocked airflow to his nostrils, his mouth slightly open, a warm breath of air escaping his parted lips and ghosting over Brian’s skin. His head is thumping from mixing drinks the night before, his mouth dry. Jae is drooling, the shoulder of Brian’s shirt completely soaked through. He looks down at himself. They’re both wearing yesterday’s shirts and their boxers, Jae’s long legs entwined with Brian’s sturdier, thicker ones. Brian grins, taking a moment to enjoy that little moment of intimacy--not that things are like that with them. It’s just Jae has nightmares and Brian sleeps like a rock so sometimes they cuddle, or so Brian tells himself as he adjusts Jae, pushing the pillow under his head so it’s easier for him to breath. He pulls the covers up to Jae’s chin, dabbing at the drool dripping down the side of his mouth. _What a baby._

The doorbell rings thrice in succession--ah, right _that’s_ what woke him up. He slips out of bed quietly, bringing the rest of the blanket over Jae, giving him the pillow Brian was hugging so the absence doesn’t wake him.

He peeks through the peephole to see Wonpil, Sungjin, and Dowoon standing in the hallway, Wonpil holding a tray of coffees and Dowoon with a bag of pastries. _Food._ Brian pulls the door open.

“God,” Sungjin says. “Finally. I thought we were going to die out here.”

Wonpil rolls his eyes. “You’re not even the one holding the tray of coffee! You know how hard it is to hold this up when it’s burning your fingertips?”

“I said you could hold the bread,” Dowoon says, frowning.

Wonpil waves him off. “You’re my baby. I don’t want you to hold stuff and burn your hands--”

Sungjin grimaces. “--don’t call him your baby, it’s disgusting. He’s your age and also, you’re here because you literally are agreeing to fucking him on camera-- _again._ ”

“Wait, what?” Brian asks, eyes wide.

Sungjin and Wonpil look at each other.

“I _told_ you they were wasted!” Sungjin says, pointing a finger at Wonpil. “I _told_ you!”

“But Jae promised lobster! He never jokes about lobster--”

Brian frowns, snippets of conversation from the night before coming back to him--them setting up the facetime, him and Jae holding up the last of the Peach beers, him and Jae eventually forgetting to end the call and just going to his room to sleep. “--did we ask you guys--”

“--about the porn parodies, BriBri,” Jae finishes, coming up behind him, reaching over the threshold and taking a coffee from Wonpil. “Come in you guys.”

“Oh fuck,” Brian says, shaking his head and grinning. “Fuck, we really did that.”

Sungjin looks at them, points to the dried drool on Jae’s chin and Brian’s soaked shoulder. “Are you guys sleeping in the same bed again?”

“I get nightmares,” Jae says by way of explanation, shrugging and walking back into the apartment.

Sungjin raises his an eyebrow, nods at Brian. “And you just like to cuddle?”

Brian rolls his eyes, hopes he isn’t blushing. “I can sleep through anything. Even his mouth-breathing. So it works out. Now come on, let’s talk business.”

 

Wonpil laughs, throwing his head back before pitching forward and slapping his knee as he goes through the last page of the script. “Oh fuck, Brian this is hilarious.”

Brian grins, wiggling his eyebrows. “Thank you.”

“So,” Jae says, biting into a croissant. “Obviously, Wonpil is going to be Spock and Sungjin is going to be Kirk--”

“-- _obviously_?” Dowoon asks, raising an eyebrow. “I could totally pull off Kirk.”

“Of course,” Brian says. “But see, we’re saving you for the Lord of the Rings one.”

“Or rather,” Jae says, checking his phone for their notes from the night before. “Lord of the _Rims._ Dowoon is Frodo and Wonpil is Pipin and Sungjin is Sam.”

“ _Sam_? Why Same?” Sungjin asks, impatient.

“Because,” Brian says. “You've got those _eyes_. The big, wonder eyes. People'll love that. Of course, it'll be a two-parter, the other one taking place post-Mount Doom in a chapter from the books which the movie should've covered but didn't where they're in a Goblin-infested cave where the only reasonable thing for them to do would be to go and you know, have a threesome.”

“Right,” Jae says. “For Space: The Final Frontier you can do sound, Dowoonie.”

Dowoon shrugs. “Fine.”

 

They decide to shoot in Wonpil’s garage with the door shut after canvassing for rates at different studios--most of them were expensive, and of course, most of them didn’t allow the people shooting to fuck.

 _So is there a permit for that?_ Brian had asked, Jae cracking up behind him.

They’d spent the past few days cleaning the place, sanitizing it and then setting up a roll-down blue screen against one wall, reupholstering and repainting one of the chairs to resemble something that’d be on the Enterprise. Jae had taken care of lighting the night before, making sure everything would look good, slick, like a continuous palette on screen.

Wonpil had gone to the doctor for a cleaning--something he said a lot of people didn’t talk about but which was part of his camboy success: people appreciate you showing off the pretty stuff, none of the shit. Sungjin had been hell-bent on learning his lines, making sure to enunciate on the _science officer Scock_ without missing a beat.

Now they stand in the room, a few minutes to showtime, Jae having fixed up two of his best cameras: one steady on a tripod on which he’d lay out the background, the other hand-held which he’d use for rolling shots, for shots of their expressions. Brian is sitting in the director’s chair (err, well, an office chair on which he’d taped the sign _Director YoungK_ ), Dowoon monitoring the sound from the invisible mics they’d taped onto Wonpil and Sungjin.

Sungjin adjusts his suit, tightening the belt of his pants.

Wonpil adjusts his pointy ears.

“Remember,” Brian says, holding up his megaphone made up of a rolled up magazine. “Sungjin, don’t over-act. Pillie, try to look deadpan at least until the kissing starts. Okay?”

Sungjin shoots him a thumbs up.

Wonpil nods.

“Sound’s good,” Dowoon says, watching as the two mics’ meters pulse evenly on his monitor.

Brian glances at Jae.

Jae gives him a small salute. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay, then. Lights, camera, action!”

 

The space ship floats in a lone part of the galaxy, the ship a white disc against a backdrop of stars. The text ASS Enterprise embossed on the side in futuristic font. The zoom effect kicks in--the bridge is locked, Captain Sungjin Dirk sitting on the chair, peering into the sky before him. Behind him, First Lieutenant Wonpil Scock, the ship’s Science Officer punches numbers into the machine, turning a couple of dials.

“Great,” Sungjin says, frowning, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “You’ve successfully navigated us into a black hole, Science Officer Scock.”

Frowning, Wonpil walks to the bridge, resting a hand on the back of Sungjin’s chair peering into the monitor. “Captain, I did not input these coordinates--it would seem that someone saw our ASS Enterprise and decided to mess with its navigation system.”

Sungjin turns the seat slowly, resting his chin in one hand, a sly expression on his face. “And can you deduce who that might be? Moreso, why?”

Wonpil frowns before his expression smooths out again. “You have asked me on this solo quest after notably staring me down as we fought off the Klingons on the rivers of Saturn--particularly when I had my shirt off which would lead me to believe that you found me fascinating or, if you are so inclined, attractive. Also, you requested that this quest be you and I alone--given your pre-meditation, I can only infer that _you_ have changed the coordinates so that we park here, between the known world and a force we can’t come back from--”

“--cum is right,” Sungjin says, nodding, his expression serious as he turns to face Wonpil, tugging him forward by the belt. “I’ve been thinking about that and the piloting this ASS toward this black hole seemed like the only impulse I could follow--”

“--you’re being illogical, you’re following your impetus--”

“--then why did you go with me?” Sungjin looks dramatically up at Wonpil. “If you didn’t think this was logical?”

Wonpil brings a quivering knee to rest on Sungjin’s chair. He brings a hand up to Sungjin’s shoulder. Serious, he says, voice soft, expression serious. “I suppose one could say that I, too, was driven by these desires--by certain wants that the are brought to the surface of one’s psyche after a combination of shared meaningful experiences and physical attraction especially after seeing one without his shirt off, sopping wet and holding a gun up to the threats against one’s life--”

At that, Sungjin scoops Wonpil onto his lap, running a hand down his waist, squeezing his ass. “--and what do you want to do about these feelings?”

“I suppose,” Wonpil says, his face betraying the first tender emotion as he looks down at Sungjin, their faces inching closer to one another. “I suppose I’d like to try my hand at what the humans call making love--”

“--out of nothing at all,” Sungjin finishes. “That’s what humans say. And it doesn’t get more nothing at all than a black hole.”

“Isn’t that a cheesy s--”

“--shut up and kiss me,” Sungjin says cupping Wonpil’s cheek. He gestures to the space between them. “The final frontier--the only thing we haven’t explored together is each other.”

With that, Wonpil closes the gap between them, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Sungjin licks into Wonpil’s mouth as his hands peel off his suit, revealing Wonpil’s slender shoulders, his smooth chest. Wonpil grinds on Sungjin, both of them rising to the occasion. His hands grip the arm rests.

“Oh, Captain,” Wonpil says, breathless  as he palms Sungjin’s cock through his suit. “Oh fuck, you’re hard--”

With that, Sungjin presses them closer together, their cocks coming flush with one another. He starts to undo Wonpil’s pants, tugging his belt free of its clasp, grinning as it falls to the ground. Sungjin lowers Wonpil’s pants, his cock springing free. Wonpil moans as the fabric ghosts over the head, the shaft, coming to pool at his thighs.

“--you look so good, First Lieutenant,” Sungjin growls in Wonpil’s ear as Wonpil peels Sungjin’s pants off of him, starts stroking him with his free hand.

“By good, you mean--” Wonpil tilts his head curiously to the side, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips as Sungjin starts to buck his hips to Wonpil’s touch.

“--sexy as fuck,” Sungjin says--Jae is proud of this part, how he’s edited the scene, doing a dolly-shot so that the camera turns as Sungjin is slipping on the condom, as Wonpil is lubing himself up, rendering both actions invisible but implied--before kissing Wonpil’s shoulder, licking at his nipples before softly pushing into him.

They go at it tenderly at first, soft, slow, kissing sloppy, all tongue and teeth--the shots alternate, panning far and then rolling down the landscapes of their bodies (shoulder blades, arched backs, tensing thighs, forearms) before slowly moving back out to emphasize angle, speed, intensity.

Wonpil cums first, squirting onto Sungjin’s belly, the space suit, hands lost in Sungjn’s hair as he cries out against him. Jae takes a close-up shot, getting a bead of sweat rolling down Wonpil’s temple at the perfect pace. At that, Sungjin holds Wonpil tighter, barreling into him, chasing his own climax before heaving that final thrust and spilling into the condom, fingernails running down Wonpil’s back.

They sigh against each other, kissing softly.

“Captain?” Wonpil says softly.

“Yes, Scock?”

“Thank you for allowing me to understand what it means to live _long_ \--and prosper.”

Sungjin grins. “The pleasure was all mine.”

At that, the credits roll, the theme music building, the galaxy background returning.

 

_**THE ASS ENTERPRISE: A Redundated Films Porn Parody  
** _

**_Directed by Young K_ **

**_Written by Young K_ **

**_Cinematography, Set Design & Editing by Not-so-littlest Chicken_ **

**_Scoring & Sound Engineering by Drummer Boy _ **

Starring:

**_PSJ as Captain Dirk_ **

**_KWP as First Lt. Scock_ **

Brian grins as Jae hits stop on the editing software’s player.

“Good?” Jae asks, grinning at Brian.

Brian’s watching him, ignoring the screen. Jae frowns, eyebrows furrowing. “What? Is there something on my face? Do you want me to make the roll-out shot longer?”

Brian shakes his head. “No, you’re a genius.”

Jae shrugs. “ _Everyone_ is a damn genius. Sungjin and Wonpil nailed that--”

“--hah,” Brian jokes. “ _Nailed._ ”

Jae rolls his eyes. “Alright, now to upload the trailer.”

Brian nods, sending a group text to Wonpil, Jae and Sungjin.

**_ASS Final Frontier c h a t  
_ **

Director K: Got it guys. Uploading trailer today, working on b-roll tomorrow then release day after that.

Cpt. D: Got it. Can’t wait!

1Lt C: Aye aye. Are we doing a pirates themed one?

Dowoonie: I want in on that one. Not just as sound guy. I want to use the word _britches_.

Director K: Easy, I’ll think of something. Thanks again guys. As I said, first profit, we split evenly. Thanks for the hard work, I’ll PM you guys links when they’re up.

“Come on, BriBri,” Jae says as Brian looks up at him. He reaches a hand out to Brian. Brian’s heart lurches a little, seeing the way Jae’s hand peeks out of the sleeve of his shirt. He nods to the monitor. "It's uploading, we can leave it."

“Tired?”

“Mmmm.” Jae nods, rubbing at his eyes. “My eyes are exhausted.”

Brian nods, closing his laptop, getting up from the desk. “My bed or yours tonight?”

Jae grins, putting an arm around Brian and leaning against him. Both of them try not to think about all the kissing they’d just watched--more so doing it with each other.

“My bed? Yours stinks.” Jae grins.

Brian pretends to bite his shoulder. “Only because you drooled all over it.”

Jae smiles, steering Brian into his room.

They don’t turn on the lights, just tumble into bed. Jae curls up against Brian in that way of his, arms around him one hand coming to rest on his chest. He nuzzles against Brian’s neck.

Brian feels a tingle go down his spine. “You know you’d breathe better if you didn’t use me as some kind of suffocation machine.”

He feels Jae grin against him. “Yeah but then I wouldn’t feel like you were here.”

Brian grins in the darkness, using a hand to stroke Jae’s hair.

“I wouldn’t feel safe,” Jae says, and drifts off to sleep.

Brian lays awake for a while, counting sheep and waiting for his feelings to fall prey to slumber first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five _fucking_ hundred, Lobster, and one does not simply get kicked out of Ikea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)   
>  [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)   
>  [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)

“Holy _crap,_ ” Jae says, refreshing the tab on their order form, blinking and holding the screen closer to his face to make sure that he’s seeing the numbers right. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Oh my goodness--Brian, get over here!”

Brian’s in the kitchen, making them coffee, Jae already having toasted them bread, the peanut butter and cheese laid out on their coffee table--which is also kind of their dining table, both of them having given up standard furniture years ago, seeing as how they both prefered to eat sitting on the living room floor anyway. He looks over his shoulder. “Hold on.”

“Oh my god,” Jae repeats, grinning, biting on the sleeve of his sweater in excitement. He clenches his fist, punches a throw pillow. “Hurrrrrryyyyyyy.”

“Okay, okay. Jeez. I’m here, I’m here.” Brian walks over with a tray on which sits coffee steaming in their mugs (Brian’s is a Brooklyn 911 one and Jae’s is a DIY Brian Kang Is FOXY one which sports Brian’s face on which Jae had superimposed fox ears using Photoshop--an effort to roast Brian when he was promoted at the network), brown sugar in a jar, and two types of creamer in small bowls (Jae prefers Hazelnut, Brian likes Caramel). He sets the coffees down before putting a pillow on the floor and sitting next to Jae. He rests his chin on Jae’s shoulder, peering at the screen of his tablet.

“What the fuck,” Brian says, eyes wide. “There has to be some kind of error. That’s _one_ hundred right? Shit, do _I_ need to get glasses?”

Jae grins, shakes his head and flicks Brian on the forehead. He gestures to his glasses. “Trust these prescription babies, that is five _fucking_ hundred orders for the ASS Enterprise, for Space: The Final Frontier, for Captain Dirk and First Lt. Scock. Kang Younghyun, you are a fucking _genius_.”

“Holy fuck,” Brian says, eyes wide as they scroll down to read the comments on the trailer. He reaches for a piece of toast, slathers it with peanut butter, absent mindedly nibbling, grinning as the comments pull up.

 

**_tr3kki34lyf_ **

OH MY GOD YES FINALLY FUCKING FINALLY LOOK AT THE QUALITY OF THE SPACESHIP

**_bon3rsawesome_ **

Damn, who’s the Spock? 100% would send nudes

**_bbygirl88_ **

Yo, did they just say S _cock_? This is gold.

**_ifyourehappyandyouknowitstfu_ **

Who the hell is that Captain Kirk. I need his creamy voice. All up in my always. Where the f is the preorder.

**_britneyspearsbaldheadisstillthebest_ **

hoisdhf;oiwaher;oihsdf;iohw;aerh

 

On his phone, Jae pulls up the PayPal account they’d set up--he’d completely forgotten about it, still in disbelief over the number of preorders. “Oh _fuck_.”

He shows Brian the screen. Brian’s eyes widen in surprise. They’d decided to price it at a relatively cheap rate on the premise of not really knowing whether or not people would pay for it. The number at the bottom is in USD: **$4000.00**.

“That’s like--”

Jae and Brian both do the math, arriving at the conclusion at the same time.

“--half the down payment after splitting with the gang.”

“Yes yes yes yes!” Jae says, clicking open their group chat, sending a screenshot, the caption simple: _lobster on us_. He throws his arms around Brian, letting his fingers run through Brian’s hair before pulling back to cup his cheeks in his hands in excitement, thumbs grazing Brian’s cheeks. Brian grins, blinks in satisfaction before he can help himself. “Kang BriBri, I know I’ve been a less-than-awesome roommate sometimes but I lo--”

Jae stops himself short, realizing what he’d been about to say, realizing that their faces are so close, that if he leaned in any further, their noses, their lips would touch. It’s suddenly a little bit too warm in the room. He glances down at Brian’s mouth, lips slightly parted. Jae lets go, taking the piece of toast out of Brian’s hands and taking a bite, trying to keep his smile smug, trying not to let on just how flustered he is when Brian looks at him like that.

Brian clears his throat, reaching for another piece of toast. “Yeah--so, what do you want to do today?”

  


They end up taking the train out to Gwangmyeong, walking around Ikea on the premise of buying fixtures for the next project--LOTR: Return of The Rim, but end up lingering for far longer. They make a list of items they need: rustic rug, wooden chair, old-looking candleholders, but neither of them make any move to look for them when they get there.

Instead, they meander in a familiar cadence, both knowing where they want to go after years of furniture shopping together. Jae likes the bath section, likes to check out the fixtures, daydreams about the day when taking a shower in their flat will be like bathing in the rain forest. Brian likes the beds--is obsessed with looking for the PSE or Perfect Sleeping Experience.

“Wow,” Jae says, standing in one of the shower set-ups where the shower is a long plank along the length of the ceiling, the controls going from Drizzle to Shower to Storm. The floor is tiled with clear, green-black ceramic that gleams in the lowlights. “Now _this_ is what I’m talking about. This is some classic Waiting For Tonight stuff. J to the L-O, hello.”

Brian rolls his eyes, tries to push the image of Jae drenched in water, hair slicked back, out of his mind. He swallows, squinting at the specs printed on the tiny cardboard description by the adjacent wall. “The water pressure in the apartment isn’t good enough for something like this. If you installed this in our bathroom, we wouldn’t be able to wash the dishes for a month.”

“We’ll wash the dishes in the bathroom.”  Jae shrugs, still staring up at the ceiling.

“That’s disgusting.” Brian says pulling Jae out of the shower display by the hem of his hoodie’s sleeve.

Jae grins, lets himself be tugged over to the next display: a square tub made from opalescent blue. Turbo mechanism for maximum bubbling.  

“Well this is nice,” Brian says. “We could wash our _clothes_ in that. _And_ it looks nappable. Verdict?”

Jae snorts. “Which is exactly why we’re never getting that. You’d nap in the tub and I’d end up washing all the clothes. No way, BriBri--over my dead body.”

Brian feels his cheeks warm at the implication that they would be, well, in the vicinity of the bath together, more so _in_ the tub at the same time. He nods toward the escalator. “SPE?”

Jae nods, absentmindedly putting a hand on Brian’s shoulder and steering him toward the escalator and up to the Beds section.

“Ah yes,” Brian says as they step off on the second level, taking the displays of different beds: bunks and four-posters, twin sets and queen-sized beds, futons and singles. “Heaven.”

“Look at that one,” Jae says, nodding toward a bed in the shape of a rocket ship, the mattress tucked into the interior to mimic a shuttle.  “That’s so cool. You can close the front of everything.”

Brian rolls his eyes. “If you fell asleep in that one, you’d probably have one of your stupid nightmares and think someone was trying to lock you in an oven or something. Then the yelling would wake me up.”

Jae relents. “Truth.”

Brian turns--and then it catches his eye, the biggest, most beautiful bed that he’s ever seen. It’s an oak four-poster king-sized bed painted white with huge pillows, a memory foam mattress. Gauzy curtains hang down around it, billowing slightly in the airconditioning.

“Oh my god.”

“Wha--”

“--the Perfect. Sleeping. Experience.” Brian takes Jae by the wrist, pulling him toward the big bed. He puts a tentative hand on it, pushing down on it. “Oh my god it’s perfect. The give is just right. I bet if I lay down on it, the springs wouldn’t push back. Goodbye back aches.”

Jae looks around, nods toward the bed. “Well no one’s watching.”

Brian grins mischievously, crawling onto the bed and lying down flat, arms splayed out. His back relaxes against the memory foam, perfectly supported. He sighs, closing his eyes. “This is wonderful. It’s beautiful. Jae, I want you to know I’m going to marry this bed.”

Jae pushes at the mattress tentatively, pulling one of the curtains open to watch Brian pretending to sleep. “I don’t like it.”

Brian cracks an eye open. “You’re crazy. What’s not to love? It’s huge, it supports my back. There’s so much _space_ to fall asleep on. I could do freaking snow angels on this thing.”

Jae makes a face, gesticulates with his hands. “It’s so….wide.”

“I think that’s kind of the point.”

Jae frowns, pouting in the way that always drives Brian a little crazy. “Yeah but--it’s not conducive for--”

Brian raises an eyebrow. “--perfect sleep? Excellent dreaming? Back support whilst I don’t do anything for the rest of my life?”

Jae sighs. “Not conducive for pre-nightmare um...hugging.”

“Oh.”

“You’d most definitely roll away because there’s somewhere to roll.”

“You’re basically admitting to keeping me prisoner, you know that.”

“Hah! You don’t deny it! You would 100 pct roll away if you could!”

“C’mere, then,” Brian says, patting the space beside him.

Jae blinks, cautiously climbs onto the bed on all fours, settling beside Brian in their usual way, one arm slipping behind Brian’s back, the other resting on his chest, his nose pressed to Brian’s neck. Jae puts a leg over Brian’s, tucking his heel around Brian’s ankle. Brian feels his heart race, hopes that Jae doesn’t feel it. Jae feels his body relax against the mattress, against Brian.

Brian swallows, suddenly aware of how everything looks gauzy, dreamlike, how close Jae’s lips are to his skin, how warm he is against him. “So. Verdict?”

“Hrrrrm,” Jae says, tightening his arms around Brian, kicking at the mattress. It bounces a little underneath them. “It’s not so bad, I guess--”

“--excuse me?” The curtains part and a security guard peers down at them. “Inappropriate Displays of Affection aren’t allowed within IKEA premises. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“It’s not like that with us,” Brian answers quickly--force of habit. "We're roommates."

Jae blinks. _Well, that stung._ “Yeah, we were just taking a nap.”

The security guard raises an eyebrow, eyes them lying on the bed, arms around each other. “Right. Let me escort you off the premises.”

  


“You got kicked out of _Ikea?_ ” Sungjin asks as they all sit around the table at a Seafood restaurant a couple of nights later. A huge steaming platter of lobster sits in front of them, a bucket of butter-and-garlic crabs and a plate of baked oysters on the side.

“Who the hell gets kicked out of Ikea?” Wonpil says in disbelief. “How does that even happen? They’re so nice there. Once, I broke a pot and they didn’t even reprimand me or make me pay. Just said it was all good and cleaned it up.”

“Yeah, dude,” Jae says, shrugging as he fastens his bib around his neck. “It was such a fucking bummer. We didn’t get the chairs or the candlesticks, so I guess we’ll have to skip the Shire scene and go right to the cave bit.”

“ _Or_ ,” Dowoon says slowly. “We could go back to Ikea and maybe you two could act like normal human beings for once. The real question here isn’t who gets kicked out of Ikea--it’s who the fuck cuddles on a bed in Ikea?”

“It was for science, okay?” Brian says, cracking a crab’s claw and fishing out the meat with his fingers. “We were trying to see if it’d be night terror-proof.”

Sungjin rolls his eyes. “Spare me. Jesus. When was the last time Jae even had a night terror?”

“Right freaking now, if we don’t drop the getting kicked out of Ikea thing and just talk about the stupid next film. We have to strike whilst the iron is hot. We sent out the files today so we should expect there to be a week and a half of lull time while they’re enjoying that content. Then we hit them again,” Jae says, spooning lobster meat atop hot, steaming rice into his mouth.

“So, of course we can use shadow puppets and sound effects to mimic the goblins,” Dowoon says. “And the three of us will be scared and really get into it.”

“I’ve got a script going,” Brian says. “But I’m not sure if it’s too corny? Or too perverse?”

Wonpil laughs, wiping his hands on a paper towel. “You’re literally making a living off of writing porn. I think you’re _supposed_ to be perverse.”

Brian grins. “Good point. Okay, so it involves whining and a wheel of cheese and a ring that’s also a euphemism for a condom.”

Wonpil sighs. “As long as no one gets some sort of weird infection from the bacteria in the cheese.”

“Nothing like _that_."

“You said perverse!” Wonpil says. “What was I _supposed_ to think!”

“Trust BriBri The Great, okay, Pillie?” Jae grins. “One does not _simply_ bastardize the great J.R.R. Tolkien.”

Dowoon rolls his eyes. “One does not _simply_ get kicked out of Ikea but you guys sure as hell managed to do that.”

Jae looks at Dowoon pointedly, gaze level. “Yoon Dowoon, eat your food and respect your elders.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road to Mordor is paved with good intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that this might end up being a little bit more than seven chapters but I’m not sure yet at this point. I hope that you guys enjoy it. :) 
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)

The growth is exponential--like lilies in a fertile pond: each like, each follow, each retweet giving birth to at least two more. Before they know it, they’ve had to make a separate Vimeo account on which to upload the B-roll, password-protected and encrypted so none of the actual content is reportable but still accessible to people following them. Before they even get to shooting the follow up, they’ve got over a hundred pre-orders on the tweet announcing _Lord of the Rims,_  the follower count up to 3,098.  

“It’s getting a little bit...crazy,” Jae says, lying belly-down on Brian’s bed, scrolling through the tweets. “I mean. We’ve got 114 pre-orders for LOTR. That’s more than 800,000 Won for something that doesn’t even exist yet. The weight of responsibility is crushing.”

Brian peeks in from the bathroom where he’s shaving, his chin covered in white foam, razor held up to his face with one hand. “Sungjin told me he got the chairs and stuff and he’s dropping it off at Pil’s today so we can probably do the Shire scene. I’ll go help him unload it and then reimburse him for how much he spent.”

“How’s the script going?” Jae adjusts his glasses, glances at the open window through which the autumn wind is blowing too cold for his liking. Too lazy to get out of bed and close it, he absentmindedly takes one of Brian’s discarded flannels and pulls it over himself, the fit loose on his skinny frame but shorter in the arms, his wrists peeking through.

Brian pretends not to catch the gesture. “Well. It’s going. I’m having a little bit of a hard time with the bit about the Eye of Sauron. I mean. That’s got to be some kind of coded voyeurism. Everything I write for it seems to fall flat though. It’s either too obvious or too obscure.”

“Try not to overthink it. You don’t have to write a joke into _every_ thing, you know. Just be yourself. Kang BriBri au naturale is hilarious. I mean, you know--in like, a _you’re an idiot_ kind of way.”

“Very funny.” Brian’s hand slips the razor a little too quick, a little too hard over his chin. Red tinges the white shaving foam pink. “Ah fuck--”

“--jeez, Bri.” Jae drops his phone as he bolts out of bed, taking the razor from Brian’s hand, steering him toward the bathroom. “You’ve got to be more careful. Christ, if you die from blood loss, our careers as blossoming pornographers is going to come to a pretty early end.”

Jae settles Brian on the edge of the tub, putting the razor safely out of reach. He runs the cold water. They sit facing each other with one leg each in the tub, Jae leaning over to scoop water with his hand from the tap and run it over Brian’s chin. Brian flinches at the contact as the water stings through the foam but Jae holds his chin steady, his grip firm but gentle. Jae wipes his palm over Brian’s chin, his fingers skimming over his upper lip.

The shaving cream runs off with the blood, Jae flicking the suds into the tub. He tries not to look up at Brian who is looking at him, watching the concern settle on Jae’s face. Jae peers closer, inspecting the small nick. Brian can see his lashes, can see the way that his right eye twitches a little as it’s wont to do when Jae is deep in thought, notes the small indents where the nose pads of his glasses have dug in.

“It won’t stop bleeding."

“God, it’s just a small nick,” Brian says, reaching over to put a hand under the tap and splashing Jae with water. “It’s not like I got slain in the Battle for Helm’s Deep or anything.”

The water’s hit home, half of Jae drenched, water dripping from the ends of his hair. A wicked grin spreads itself over Jae’s face. “Oh so _that’s_ how it’s going to be? I try and save you from dying and you throw freezing cold water at me?”

He reaches over to cup both hands under the tap before dumping water on Brian’s head. Brian’s eyes grow wide as splashes more water onto Jae. Jae laughs, reaching to turn the shower on--but not before Brian manages to tackle him, dragging them both into the tub. There’s a flurry of limbs and Jae lands on his back, Brian on top of him, his head almost hitting the tub’s hard, tiled surface--but Brian’s palm gets there first, cupping the back of his head. The water pours on them. Jae blinks up at Brian: the water running down his hair, his face, drenching the thin, white shirt he’d slept in. The corners of his eyes crinkle, the laughter lending a twinkle to their deep, chocolate brown. For a moment Jae thinks of the photos he’d seen of an aurora borealis, of a shooting star across the sky. In that moment, he finds himself suddenly conscious of the rest of Brian--arms tensing as he holds them both up, the length and hollow of his neck, his shoulders that are much broader than his own, the way that his legs are warm where they meet Jae’s.

“Gotcha,” Brian says, grinning. “You almost hit your head there, idiot.”

“Well, I’m not the one who started it,” Jae says, unable to keep himself from smiling back.

“That’s not true,” Brian says, letting his restraint go just a little bit as he pauses to watch the way that Jae blinks up at him, the way that the water soaks through his pajamas, the way he looks swaddled in Brian’s flannel, the fabric heavy now, peeling itself off of his shoulders. “You’re the one who was having a panic attack over nothing.”

Jae reaches up to touch Brian’s chin softly. Brian’s heart starts to race. He resists the urge to lean down and press their lips together--it would take the smallest movement to close the gap.

“You stopped bleeding.”

“Right.” Brian remembers himself, pushes himself off of Jae, letting his head down softly against the cool tile. He lends Jae a hand, helps him get up. They’re both sopping wet, both struggling to hide what they’d both felt as they lay against each other, the water running over them. “So. You coming with me to Pil’s to meet Sungjin?”

Jae shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “Nah. I have to meet Dowoonie for a while. He said there might be an opening for a videographer at his prod house. It isn’t much but I was thinking it might be a good start--”

“--oh,” Brian says, realizing that in the two years since they’d graduated, they’d both lived together, worked together. _Right. Jobs and stuff._ “Alright--”

“--of course I already asked about whether they have opening for writers, BriBri,” Jae says, ruffling his hair. Brian flinches. _Like a puppy._ “I’ll let you know what Dowoonie says.”

Brian reaches for a towel, starts drying Jae’s hair. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve applied to some places too.”

Jae blinks at him, hands fumbling for Brian’s robe that’s hanging behind the bathroom door, putting it around Brian’s shoulders so he doesn’t get cold. “Oh. Right. Yeah sure of course. Anyway. See you later? Samgyeupsal?”

Brian grins. “Of course. And soju.”

  


Jae lets Brian drive their car to Sungjin’s. He opts to take the bus over to Dowoon’s office, enjoying the ride, wanting to clear his head. He leans his head against the window, wondering whether or not it’s even worth looking into this job.

If he’s being perfectly honest, he’d never really thought about working anywhere without Brian, hadn’t meant not to tell him--he’d seen that look cross Brian’s face, knows that Brian definitely hadn’t applied anywhere, knows that it probably made him anxious that Jae was looking for jobs, that brain of his working a-mile-a-minute as usual, not wanting to get left behind. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You can’t even keep your best friend from feeling like an asshat._

Jae pulls on the string for his stop as he sees the logo of Dowoon’s office building in his periphery.

He gets off the bus, walks into the cafe, spots Dowoon sitting by the window, two coffees and sandwiches on the table in front of him.

“Hey, Dowoonie,” Jae says, slipping into the seat across from him. “What’s the verdict?”

Dowoon grins. “I swear to god you sound just like Brian sometimes.”

Jae shrugs. “You sound like an idiot sometimes but I’m not judging.”

Dowoon laughs. “Touche. Well. Okay. Maybe you wanna take a sip of that coffee first.”

“Come on, Dowoonie.” Jae raises an eyebrow. “I’m not a child, stop trying to bribe me--well, I mean, not that I don’t mind some coffeeeee. But you know. I’m older than you, I can take it.”

“Well,” Dowoon says, not meeting Jae’s eye, keeping his gaze trained on his coffee cup. “The good news is that the videographer job is yours if you want it. We have some new winter drama films coming in so it’s all very timely--it might be a bit different than you’re used to but I think you could do it. They liked your reel--”

“--okaaaay,” Jae frowns, not sure what Dowoon’s getting at. “And the bad news is?”

“We don’t have an opening for a writer,” Dowoon says quickly. “And since Bri specializes in comedy, it isn’t really our forte.”

“Oh.” Jae says, taking in that information and making up his mind. “Well, then, it’s alright. I’ll pass--”

“--Jaehyung-hyung?”

“Woah what’s with the _hyung_ all of a sudden? Why are you being so _weird_ today?” Jae balls up a bit of paper from his paper napkin and tosses it at Dowoon. “It creeps me out when you’re mega respectful. It’s like when comedians do drama and you want to gouge your eyes out because _Jim Carrey is supposed to be funny_.”

Dowoon doesn’t laugh, instead proceeds to look at him deadpan.

“Can I tell you something a bit personal and can you promise not to be offended?”

“That’s code for _will you give me permission to offend you_. But fine. Go right ahead. Offend me.”

“I think you and Brian might have some kind of co-dependency issue.”

Jae’s eyebrows furrow. _Well yeah, we share the damn flat._ “You mean like the way you and Wonpil are joined at the hip whenever we walk into a Noraebang and somehow you two always pick the sappiest Whitney Houston songs to sing together?”

Dowoon shakes his head. “No. I mean the way that people who’ve been married for eighty-nine years are co-dependent.”

“ _What,_ ” Jae says, taking a bite of his sandwich. “No. On second thought, you mind reimbursing my bus fee too? Because this kind of disrespect--”

“--hyungie, I mean it. You two co-signed a five-year loan together, you’re buying a flat together. I mean. Five years! In five years, you’ll be thirty. Were you planning to just not date until then? Until you both died in that apartment and the wind swept your ashes away? What if you guys hadn’t gotten fired? Would you just be at the network job forever?”

Jae sighs. “Look, okay. I know it’s a little bit difficult to understand our dynamic. I mean we’ve been hearing it since college with the _what’s up with you guys_ and _you guys are so weird_ but it’s just--call it the--the--Jaehyungparkian dynamic, alright? We like to insult each other and then insult other people together and then--”

“--cuddle? Cook each other stuff? Do everything together except actually talk about bigger issues?” Dowoon supplies.

“Well,” Jae says, shrugging. “What do you wanna hear?”

Dowoon sighs. “I’m just saying I’m concerned for you and for Bri. I think if you two don’t face this--”

“--face _what_?” Jae asks, getting impatient now. “It’s like you’re speaking in some kind of weird code.”

“--oh for fuck’s sake,” Dowoon says. “You’re joking right?”

Jae’s eyebrows furrow. He tilts his head, wondering what Dowoon is getting at. “Is this about Brian dropping the chairs off at Pil’s alone? I mean I was going to help him but I’m meeting you and--”

“--if you genuinely don’t know what I’m talking about,” Dowoon starts, taking a swig from his coffee like he very much wished it was something stronger. “Then you need to up your prescription on those glasses, Jae.”

“Woah,” Jae says. “What happened to the _hyung_ ?”  


 

“Where the hell did you pick these up?” Brian asks Sungjin as they struggle to lug the oak chair into Wonpil’s garage-slash-studio. “An old folks’ home? It’s so fucking heavy it’s like the old gods carved it out of...well, themselves.”

“Ikea like you said,” Sungjin says. “But in the sale section. It’s real wood and it came fully assembled too so I figured that was rare enough.”

“Yeah now we just have to pay for the medical bills when we inevitably slip a disc.”

They set the chair down. Sungjin wipes sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. “Alright. We all set?”

Brian fixes the table with the candlesticks and fake wheel of cheese that they’d set up nearby, adjusting the cutlery so it’s easier for Dowoon to swipe off the table during the first scene where he pushes Wonpil onto the table in a fit of excitement for the quest to Mordor.

“That’s all good, I think. Are you guys free to shoot on Thursday by the way? The script’s really coming along and Jae’s all amped up to get filming again. The huge number of pre-orders are making him antsy that we don’t have a product yet. I can send you guys the script tonight.”

“I’m free on Saturday at the earliest,” Sungjin says. “I’m in rehearsal for the play--first show is in less than three weeks so we’re really trying to get at it, iron everything out until it’s perfect.”

“Okay. Okay, that works. I think Pil and Dowoon are free then too. Jae and I were thinking of releasing this as a two-parter. The Shire scene first, and then the Goblin cave bit as a Halloween special. So, like. The Fellowship of the Rim and then The Return of the Rim.”

Sungjin grins. “That sounds pretty cool. And of course, there needs to be one for Christmas--”

“--a _Santa_ parody? Isn’t that a bit too...blasphemous?” Brian grins. “I mean. Even for me. It’s hard to see Santa as _sexy_. Or funny. It’s just a bit scary.”

“It could be a gift kinda thing. You do one of those surveys of a couple of ideas and have them pick which one they like better. That’ll make it Christmas-themed without making it _too_ Christmas themed that it’s offensive.”

“Heyyy. Park Sungjin, marketing genius--who knew?” Brian jokes.  

“It’s what we used to do for our cam projects back in college.”

“Christ.”

“Yeah,” Sungjin says, turning to Brian. “Hey. Bri--just asking out of concern here but--how are you guys? I mean since the whole network mess. I know that show was your baby. And I don’t have a doubt you guys’ll come out of it okay but I mean. How’re you holding up?”

“Well,” Brian says. “We’re okay. Looks like we’re going to make the downpayment at the end of the month which is great and really, I mean that’s kind of all that matters at this point. I loved the show but homelessness was--”

“--Bri,” Sungjin interrupts, putting a hand gently on Brian’s shoulder. “I know it’s kind of none of my beeswax but what made you guys decide to buy the apartment?”

“Oh that’s easy. Rent is an empty expense, it’s a sunken cost. You pay a lot but it doesn’t really _get_ you anything--”

“--no I mean, like, _together._ ”

Brian shrugs. “Why not? I’ve known Jae for almost a decade now. He hasn’t robbed me, hasn’t tried to kill me despite his weird sleeping habits.”

“You know some couples live together for years and never do that.”

“Well, it’s not like that with us. I mean, Jae and I aren’t a couple. Therefore, we can’t break up. It’s logic, my friend. Pure, unadulterated, genius logic.”

“Right,” Sungjin says. “Tell me, what was your comedy show about again?”

“Lots of things,” Brian replies, wondering what Sungjin’s getting at. “Laughter, love, family--”

“--just the basic premise--”

“--a group of college friends who go through different shenanigans--”

“--the pilot episode, Brian. What was the _main_ plot about?”

Brian frowns. “The _pilot_? It was about two best friends who live together in Seoul and their college friends who were moving back from different parts of the world. In the pilot, they both discover that they’re in love with each other after drunkenly sleeping with each other?”

“Ahhhh, yes. Now I remember,” Sungjin says, snapping his fingers in pretend-realization. “And you’re telling me that you and Jae--I mean you’ve never--”

Brian rolls his eyes, finally realizing what Sungjin’s getting at.

“--never. How many times do I have to say it’s just not like that with us? I mean don’t you think that in what, like, seven years, if one of us was going to do something we would’ve already done it?”

Sungjin nods slowly. “You mean like co-sign a long-term loan? Write a sitcom about it? Buy a flat together? Sleep in the same bed?”

“It’s not like that with us,” Brian says, but with less conviction this time, thinking of Jae that morning in the tub, eyes fond as he pressed his fingertips to his chin. _It’s not bleeding anymore._ “I mean, he’s my best friend. Of course if I could pick anyone in the world to co-sign a loan from the bank with it’d be him. _Sentido cumon_ , my friend.”

“Speaking in random Spanish phrases is _very_ Park Jaehyung, since we’re talking about sense and sensibility,” Sungjin shoots back.

“And prying into the lives of your two good friends who’ve just lost their jobs and who have--albeit willingly--resorted to producing pornography for a living is idiotic but you don’t hear _me_ saying anything,” Brian retorts, grinning.

Sungjin heaves a defeated sigh. “Fair enough.”

  


They arrive at the Samgyeupsal restaurant at the same time, both of them exhausted when they get to the door. Jae sighs, letting his backpack droop off of one shoulder. There’d been traffic on the way back to Hapjeong and the entire afternoon had taken an emotional toll on him. He felt chastised _and_ no step closer to being employed.

Brian grins at the sight of him, the verbal tennis game he’d just played with Sungjin making him feel bad--guilty, somehow, and also something else that he can’t quite name. Discontent? Seeing Jae makes him stand up a little taller. It’s one of the things he’s always admired about Jae: even when they were both down in the dumps, he brought the sunshine by just being, well, himself.

“Hey, loser,” Brian grins, shoves playfully at Jae’s shoulder as they meet by the doorway, the smells of cooking meat wafting out from inside. “Let’s eat.”

Jae smiles back, instinctively putting at arm around Brian as they head into the restaurant. “Please. I’m fucking starving.”

They settle down beside each other in the booth, feet up, legs crossed in the booth--force of habit from eating at home on the floor by the sofa. The meat is served with the plethora of side dishes, the rice, the soju and cider.

“So how was your day?” Jae asks, spooning rice and meat dipped in sesame oil into his mouth.

“Oh you know,” Brian says. “Just. Tiring. The chair Sungjin bought is...well, sturdy, I’ll give him that. The hobbits could gouge Sauron’s eye out with that and I thought I was going to grandpa-style break my back carrying it into Pillie’s garage. Thank your stars I’m still alive. You almost lost me today. To a damn chair.”

“Consider the stars thanked,” Jae says, plopping a dollop of peanut sauce onto the bed of cabbage and meat that Brian is absentmindedly holding in his hand.

Brian folds the cabbage over, stuffs it into his mouth, his question coming out muffled and almost incoherent. “How was your day?”

“HAH,” Jae says, almost choking on his soda. Brian pats his back until he burps. “It was terrible. TERRIBLE. I didn’t get the job. And Dowoon--that kid. He’s acting very not kid-like. He’s acting very infuriating and irritating and condescending-like--”

“--same goes for Sungjin,” Brian says, pouring them both some Soju. “Just ‘cause he’s older than me doesn’t mean he can tell me what to do.”

Jae nods, his hair flopping into his eyes. “Exactly. No one can tell us what to do they should mind their own fucking business. I don’t care what their intentions are, they just need to let us live.”

“Yes.” Brian raises his shot glass. “The road to Mordor is paved with good intentions.”

Jae reaches for his shot glass, clinks it against Brian’s. “Amen.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep it safe, keep it secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. This might end up being eight chapters, but I’ll change the count when we get there. Props to my friend FFY for telling me all of this cultural stuff about porn. Also, I’m a huge LOTR fan so. It really killed me not to throw a Rohirrim joke in there and just write an actual LOTR porn parody. Also, "Dildo Baggins" is a play on Bilbo and not Frodo, I know, but ISTG I couldn't think up a funny dirty play on Frodo so there we go. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this! The next chapter. Is. _the_ chapter.

Jae tweaks some of the lights, lessening the Tungsten to get a warmer tone. He shifts one of the foil reflectors away from the scene to create contrast, a dramatic flair, like an artist shading in a scene to add dimension, depth. Wonpil, Sungjin, and Dowoon are dressed in their hobbit costumes: fluffy slippers they’ve dyed to match their wigs, brown vests, pants rolled up at the shins. Brian double-checks their mics, taped to their temples but painted over with concealer to match. He walks over to glance at the monitor, check the framing, the way the set looks on-cam.

“Good?” Brian asks, glancing up at Jae. 

Jae flashes him a thumbs up, reaching for the clapper they’d bought at the small trinkets store near their apartment. “Alright. Lord of the Rims: The Fellowship of the Rim, Take 1!”

  
  


The hobbit hole is half-bathed in shadow, the flickering lamp the single source of light. On the table is a wheel of cheese, some candleholders, a bottle of wine, a ring of brass keys. 

“ _ This _ is what the war in the East is about? What could it be?” Sungjin raises the condom they’ve tethered to a gold chain up to the light--the One True Ring. “It just looks like a plain old ring to me--”

Dowoon shakes his head, taking the ring out of Sungjin’s grasp. “When Gandalf left, he said to keep it safe, keep it secret. We should bury it. Or hide it in one of my chests in the basement.”

Dowoon grabs the keys on the table. They make a sound as they clink together.

“Dildo Baggins! Do you  _ really  _ think that an evil being staring at the world and figuring out how to take over and destroy its civilizations isn’t going to find that in your basement?” Wonpil asks, snatching the condom out of Dowoon’s hands. “And I mean, what’s this stuff around it anyway?”

With that, Wonpil makes to tear the condom’s clear packaging. They all look at it as if entranced. Sungjin lifts a trembling hand up as if to touch it. 

Wonpil snatches it away, keeping it concealed tightly in his palm, baring his teeth at Sungjin.

“Fool of a Took!” Dowoon yells, knocking it out of Wonpil’s hands. It lands with a clatter on the floor--the shot rendered in slow-mo, radiant light beaming from the condom as it bounces against the floor. “You almost unleashed the power--” 

It lands by Sungjin’s feet, touching his big toe.

“--I don’t feel so well, Mr. Dildo--” Sungjin says, leaning on Dowoon who has turned to look at Wonpil, now leaning dangerously close. “--I--I feel like I have a sudden--”

“I--” Wonpil lays the condom on the table, his hands coming away wet as he raises a finger to stroke Dowoon’s cheek softly. “--I think that I feel it too--”

With that, Dowoon wipes everything off the table: the wheel of cheese, the bottle of wine, the table cloth. The shot is a rather elaborate one: a flurry of cloth, wine guzzling out of a bottle spilling onto the floor, theme music mounting. Dowoon pushes Wonpil onto the table, licking into his mouth as he holds him down, tearing at the buttons of his vest, his shirt while kissing down his neck, parting his legs--Wonpil is flexible--until his knees come flush with the table. 

“--please,” Dowoon says. “Peregrind Took. I--I feel compelled...to make you feel good--rim you until you’re shaking--”

Wonpil’s hips buck against Dowoon as he undoes Wonpil’s pants, kisses down the hollows of his hips. Meanwhile, Sungjin has come up behind Dowoon and started to kiss his neck, making his way down his shoulder, his back while pressing his half-hard cock against Dowoon’s ass. His hands roam down Dowoon’s chest, pulling his shirt out from his pants, palming at his cock before pulling his pants down to pool at his ankles. 

Dowoon kisses Wonpil’s cock from tip to shaft to base but doesn’t linger, instead moves further south, kissing his butt cheeks softly before parting them, licking at his entrance, eyes half-closed before softly pushing a saliva-slicked finger in. Wonpil moans, hands gripping the table. Sungjin nips at Dowoon’s cheeks, teasing at his entrance with his tongue while stroking him until he’s completely hard, pulsing in Sungjin’s hand. 

Wonpil gasps as Sungjin pushes Dowoon down deeper into him, Dowoon stroking his prostate again, again, again until Wonpil cums hot and thick and fast against both of them. The shot focuses on Wonpil’s furrowed eyebrows, the line of his neck as he throws his head back. 

Sungjin grins, taking that as a signal to go relentlessly fast, deep on Dowoon, stroking him close, plunging his tongue into him as Dowoon groans a deep baritone against Wonpil, who’s sat up to kiss him--all tongue and teeth. 

Dowoon cums onto the floor--the shot is taken from afar but pans close upon impact, showing off Sungjin’s hands as he brings Dowoon to climax. Cut to: Dowoon’s face in rapture, lips parted, head thrown back, Sungjin grinning, eyes a-twinkle with mischief one moment and then wide with wonder and fear the next.

“What have we done?” He asks in fear, glancing down at his cum-covered hands. 

“Oh no,” Dowoon says, glancing at the One True Ring. “We’ve fallen prey to its powers, he’ll see us.” 

There is the sound of neighing in the background, the rush of hooves. 

“The Nazgul,” Dowoon says, turning to the window.

“Hey, guys--” Sungjin gestures to himself. “I mean, really? No anything for Samthighs Gamgee--”

“--we’ll repay you when we get to safety, Sam,” Wonpil says, scrambling for his pants.

“Yes,” Dowoon says, putting the chain on which hangs the One True Ring around his neck slowly. “I swear it on my life.” 

The screen dims, the credits rolling as deep, resonant chamber music plays. 

“Good?” Jae asks, hitting Save before letting the cursor hover over the Export button.

“Fucking great,” Brian replies, grinning. “No pun intended.” 

Jae grins, watching the video export--ten minutes. He walks to the kitchen, fetches the pint of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream he and Brian have been saving to celebrate post-production. He plops down on the couch next to Brian, digging in with a spoon and feeding Brian the first scoop before going back in for himself. 

“So,” Brian says, grinning as he watches Jae get ice cream all over his face. “Sungjin was telling me we should definitely do a Christmas Special kind of deal. He said that what he and Pil used to do was conduct like a Twitter survey and then they’d make whatever video got the highest. I don’t know what people might want though. I mean...cozy porn is that a thing?”

Jae pauses thoughtfully, digging back in before spooning the ice cream into Brian’s mouth. “Well. I mean. There is, sort of. Do you know that the most-watched video on Pornhub is a domestic amateur one where a girl and her ex-boyfriend get it on in the most banal scenario ever? Like they’re in the living room and there’s unfolded laundry everywhere, old magazines. And the thing that people were saying in the comments after didn’t have anything to do with like, how hot it was or whatever. They were concerned about the story. They were talking about what happens after--do they get back together? Do they not? If so, why not? Do they ever hook up again?”

“A domestic porn parody, huh,” Brian muses, melting the ice cream between his tongue and palette. 

“It’ll be super simple to film too. Steady single cam, no mic, minimal props.”

“Okay, we could do that. I think Dowoon and Wonpil would be awesome at that. They’ve got that weird, cute-not-cute dynamic going.”

Jae nods in agreement. “Most def. And we could make the choices for the poll be situational: like do they want the plot to be a.) ex-lovers b.) two people having an affair--”

“--c.) bestfriends to lovers,” Brian says absentmindedly, only realizing afterward what he’d said. 

There’s a moment of silence. 

The video finishes exporting. 

“Yeah,” Jae says, pulling up Twitter on the browser and hitting upload for the trailer, copy/pasting the caption. He pushes the thought of Brian and their couch, their living room with all its mundane, domestic things out of his head. “That’s an option too, I guess.” 

He opens his mouth to say something more but catches himself, lets Brian add it to the list of options. 

_ Although don’t you think it cuts a little too close to home?  _

 

 

There was a moment, for Jae, back in college, when the label of whatever it is he and Brian were--are--had solidified, turned into something thick and immovable: best friends, nothing more and nothing less. At the time, they’d known each other for a little over a year, were still living in the dorms, mostly cooking ramyun on their electric stove and staying up until four in the morning playing old versions of Tekken they’d pilfered from Wonpil or watching old movies they’d pirated. 

Up until then, Jae had held onto this strange kind of hope that things would move forward for them, gradually blossom into something else. He was attracted to Brian--had been since that first day that he’d met him at orientation. Something in the way he held himself, something in the sure way that he spoke which was undercut by a kind of vulnerability, a tendency to do things like whine or bury his face in his hands. It was like seeing rainbow lights encased an elegant bottle: it didn’t seem like it was supposed to do that, but it’s also perfect that it does. That he does. 

That night, they were on another one of their film binges, Brian’s old, shitty laptop hooked up to the projector that they borrowed from the AV Department for “film” purposes. They were watching Wong Kar Wai’s  _ In The Mood For Love.  _ Jae was lying in Brian’s lap, his neck craned to see the film.

On screen, Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung were going out for dinner, the scene tense, the atmosphere full of things unsaid. The movement of an elbow, the hint of a smile, a glance shared between them. 

“He should just say something,” Brian said, then, crease forming between his eyebrows. 

“It’s kind of a difficult situation,” Jae said. “I mean, he isn’t sure how--”

“--life’s pretty simple like that. You like someone, you tell them how you feel. Or I dunno. If you can’t muster up the courage, just let it go.” Brian glanced down at Jae then and smiled. “Why do you look so serious”

“I want popcorn,” Jae said, opening his mouth, feeling his heart sink. 

Brian fed it to him slowly. Jae felt his stomach do flips at the way that Brian’s fingertips were rough, calloused against his soft lips where they brushed against each other. The popcorn was sweet and salty.  _ Say something,  _ Jae thought to himself but instead lay there, watching other people on screen fall in love. 

Brian drew the blanket over them. “I swear to god, one day we’ll afford somewhere with proper heating.” 

Jae snorted, the rest of Brian’s words ringing in his ears: if he wanted someone, he would say so. If he wanted you, he would’ve done something about it by now. They’d known each other for almost two years and Brian hadn’t said anything.  _ He doesn’t like you like that. _ Jae smiled sadly, looking up to watch Brian’s outline in the blue-tinged darkness: jaw, cute nostrils, eyelashes.

On screen, Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung sit on the bed, talking, shoulders barely touching. 

Well, he’d thought to himself then, as he lay swaddled in Brian’s comforter, on Brian’s lap: this isn’t so bad, is it? 

Infinitely better than nothing. 

  
  


“Okay, I definitely did not expect that,” Brian says as they lie in Jae’s bed the next morning, both of them wearing half a set of bunny-print pajamas that they’d bought the year before during one of the Christmas sales, no longer knowing who it really belongs to. Jae’s wearing the pajama bottoms with one of his favorite oversized hoodies, Brian’s wearing the top over black boxers that Jae hates because of how they cling to Brian’s thighs--that is, just in the right way to make Jae dizzy if he looks long enough.

Jae’s just woken up, still has his arms around Brian, his cheek pressed to the hollow of Brian’s neck. He only knows to peer up at Brian’s phone by virtue of the way he’s holding it out to Jae’s face, the light almost blinding. 

“I literally can’t read anything without my glasses. Read it to me.” 

“Right. Well. Bestfriends to lovers won the poll.” 

Jae sits up right, reaches for his glasses on the nightstand. “That’s impossible. Ex-lovers should win. People love that angsty shiz.” 

The room swims into focus as he puts on his glasses. He reaches out to take Brian’s phone, sees the numbers in front of him: bestfriends-to-lovers had won by a landslide, claiming 72% of the 6,897 votes cast. He looks up at Brian who is watching him, head tilted to the side as if wondering what’s got him so riled up.

Jae shrugs, hands Brian back his phone. “I just didn’t expect it is all.” 

“So, I’ll start working on the script, then,” Brian says. 

“Okay. I’ll send out the LOTR stuff and coordinate filming and pre-orders for Part 2.”

“What do you want for breakfast? I can cook us omelettes with mushrooms and bell peppers. Or we can go down the sweet option, I have some waffle batter.”

Jae smiles despite himself. “Both?” 

Brian rolls his eyes but grins, plants a small kiss on the top of Jae’s head “You’re spoiled.”

Jae grins, smug. “I know.” 

  
  


The Lord of the Rims two-parter is a success, giving them that final boost into 10k-follower status. There are almost two thousand pre-paid orders by the time that Part Two is aired: Dildo Baggins and Peregrind Took finally giving Samthighs Gamgee the loving he deserved--albeit in a cave bound to be overrun by rabid goblins. Once that’s released, they’re barely able to reply to every comment, have to resort to a Contact Us form. 

They make the downpayment on the flat, give their monthly fees at the bank on time--still with some cash to spare, both of them more excited for Christmas and going shopping for presents than they have been in a really long time. December rolls into Seoul in all its wintery glory, and all talk of other jobs and applying to prod houses has been shelved for the moment, both of them basking in their new-found success. 

Wonpil, Sungjin, and Dowoon are just as excited, joking about the porn money being a kind of Christmas bonus. They plot down the date to shoot the Christmas Special ASAP, wanting to have it out during the most stressful time of the year as a thank you to the people patronizing their content: they give themselves a tight schedule--filming on the thirteenth, editing through the fourteenth, and then the release mid-month. 

Tonight, the eve of the shoot, they’re walking through the Lotte Department Store, looking at the Christmas decor--on the one hand, keeping an eye out for things they might want for the house (Jae finds a Christmas-themed bathroom rug, Brian gets very attached to a Santa-printed duvet), but also shopping for the ugliest Christmas sweaters that they can find. Brian had become very attached to the script--which he wouldn’t let Jae read, garnering him ten minutes of unadulterated tickling and play-biting--and was convinced that they needed for it to not just be domestic but also incredibly sappy. They needed couple sweaters for Dowoon and Wonpil to wear--Wonpil had volunteered his pink knit which they declined with a lot of swearing. 

They peruse the aisles of the men’s clothing, all the sweaters looking somehow too chic, too made-up, too  _ glamorous _ to be hilarious.

Jae grimaces. “When did granny fashion get so...hip?”

Brian glances down at Jae’s feet which are clad in thick pizza-patterned socks and plain black slippers. “Grandpa fashion, on the other hand--”

“--don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, BriBri.” 

"It's the dead of Winter. If you get frost bite, I swear--"

"--we literally went from the car to here. It was like, thirty seconds of cold." 

“AHA!” Brian picks out a deep, forest green one with a very bad Santa face sewn onto the front. Santa’s mouth is outlined in red, overdone--makes him look a little bit more like a clown than usual. “ _ This one.  _ This is the worst one.”

Jae grins. “Agreed--"

And then Brian’s cellphone rings. Wonpil.

“Hello?”

The voice that comes through the line is hoarse, croaky. “We have a problem.”

Brian’s eyebrows furrow.  _ Oh no.  _

Jae mouths  _ who is it _ ?

_ Wonpil. _

“You’re sick?”

Jae raises his eyebrows. “I already posted the teaser image, said it’d be out December 15th.”

“Yeah, I’m sick.”

“Fuck.” Brian chews on his lower lip. “Okay, well. We could ask Sungjin if he’ll do it--” 

“--he’s sick too--”

“--what?"

“And Dowoonie too. I mean, I already had a slight cold when we were filming Return of the Rim but I didn’t think it’d--”

“--no. Oh no no no no,” Brian says, his mind suddenly going to the script--it would be wasted. 

“Maybe we could refund the pre-orders?”

“We already divided it up, remember? Our Christmas bonus?”

“Oh yeah--fuck.” Wonpil breathes heavily over the line before sniffling twice and coughing like cold water poured onto boiling oil--loud, Brian having to hold the phone away from his ear. “You guys might have to take one for the team.”

“We just paid the down payment on the flat. We can’t afford to refund all those pre-orders, Pillie.” 

“Not what I meant. I mean. Like. You guys could film the Christmas special.”

“Jesus Christ. No. Anything but that.”

“Lose an audience? Get sued for taking people’s money without delivering the product? Is that all worse than just doing something silly with a friend?” 

Jae holds up different ugly sweaters up to his chest, checking his reflection in the mirror. Brian thinks about his script, Sungjin’s voice running through his head.  _ How much of that did you take from real life? _

“Please Bri,” Wonpil says again. “We’ll make it up to you guys, I swear. I have to go in a bit because my throat feels like it’s on fire.”

“Fine.” Brian says, rubbing at the space between his brows with his thumb and forefinger. “Um. Okay. No promises but I’ll talk it over with Jae.” 

Jae looks up at him. "Talk to me about what?"

  
  


“Oh,” Jae says, blinking as they sit across from each other on the sofa. The ride home was quiet, Brian jittery, nervous. And then they’d gotten home and Brian had filled him in, currently has the script printed out, is clutching it like his life depends on it. “Jesus. Okay. Well. Um.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know it’s weird,” Brian says. “And you can say no if you want, we’ll find a way to refund the money. I mean, we could sell some of our equipment. Or we could use some of the loan money?”

“We don’t touch the loan money,” Jae says quickly. He feels a bit nauseated, his heart pounding so hard he wonders if it’s possible for it to jump right out of his throat. He glances at Brian--the thought of him, of them doing  _ that _ awakens strange desires, old feelings he’d thought long-dead. “Can I read the script first?” 

Brian takes a deep sigh, takes Jae’s hands in his. “Okay but you have to promise not to judge me or hate me or treat me differently in any way.” 

“Fine.” Jae raises an eyebrow, lunges for the script, grabbing it out of Brian’s hands. He reads through it quickly, heart pounding, butterflies in his stomach swirling as if caught in a hurricane. 

_ [Sofa, living room.] _

_ W sits in D’s lap. D is stroking his hair, takes off his glasses before setting them on the coffee table. He rubs W’s temples to relieve him of a headache. _

“You said domestic,” Brian says, watching Jae’s expression. “And I mean I’ve never really been in a sickeningly domestic romantic relationship before so of course I had to take from real life, I’m not a creep--”

_ It’s not like that with us.  _ Jae's throat tightens, his shoulders suddenly tense. Jae looks up at Brian, hands him back the script. “--I never said you were a creep. It’s fine, I understand. I’ll do it. It should be a piece of cake. It’s kind of perfect anyway don’t you think? We’re used to doing everyday things together but we don’t have romantic feelings for each other so the sex part should be easy.”

Brian studies Jae’s expression, his palms suddenly sweaty. He fights the urge not to flinch at what Jae’s just said--he’s never had it laid out in front of him like that before, so directly.  _ We don’t have romantic feelings for each other. _ Not that he’d hoped otherwise. Well, not for a long time.  


“Right. Okay. Promise it won’t change anything between us though? Like, I mean you know these things are--”

“--life’s simple,” Jae says, trying to keep his voice neutral. “If one of us wanted to do anything like that before, don’t you think we already would’ve. We’ve known each other for seven years and I’ve been sleeping in your bed for like, five. Believe me, if we were going to fuck, we already would’ve. It’s like you keep saying. It’s not like that with us.” 

“Okay,” Brian says, trying to smile. “Okay, good. Anyway. Your bed or mine tonight?” 

Later in the evening, as they lie entwined in the dark, Jae holding Brian in his usual way, Brian stroking his hair, neither of them speak. Neither of them sleep. 

Brian tries to shush the pounding of his heart against his chest, just left of where Jae’s palm rests. 

_ Keep it safe, keep it secret.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I would’ve liked things to go our way last night and as sad as I am about that not being the case, I can confidently say that I’ve never been prouder to stan a group for their music and their hard work, for their artistic talent and persistence. 2017 has been both one of the hardest and one of the most inspiring years of my life--the former is owed to outside turmoil (both political and personal), the latter I have to credit mostly to Day6 and their beautiful music. Each week of the 52 weeks of this year (well, thus far) have felt more bearable because I knew that we’d inch closer to getting a new song that felt like a pat on the back--whether upbeat or slow, acoustic or electric, soft rock or funk pop, ballad or banger. Awards, as awesome as they might be, are nothing compared to touching and changing other people’s lives. And as far as I’m concerned, our boys have done that plenty. Thank you all for your patronage of them and for your readership of my fics. Let’s keep on keeping on through 2018 and beyond. :)
> 
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> 
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	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He remembers those vanished years. As though looking through a dusty window pane, the past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote in the summary is from In The Mood for Love, the Wong Kar Wai film. :)

Brian doesn’t recall the exact moment when it happened, when everything solidified like molten amber cooling into stone, his feelings calcifying, becoming one with his bones: what held him up, what he had to keep invisible. He doesn’t quite know when he’d fallen in love, when he’d accepted the state of things as they were. The first time he saw Jae, he was laughing--deep green hoodie, then-bleached hair, glasses catching the light as he tripped on the wire of the electric fan in the orientation room while walking toward Brian with his enrolment card. _You the guy in 541, right? Roomies!_ American, from the accent--been here a while from the way he didn’t care about the ramyun dripping down his chin at lunch, the way he reached over and took one of Brian’s sliced slivers of pickled radish without asking.

And while he can’t be sure, all these years later, Brian suspects that in the moment that had been the nail in his coffin, Jae was probably laughing too: eyes like crescent moons, body given to the laughter running through him. It was his birthday, sophomore year. They were playing a game of Tekken: Nina versus Anna Williams, the high-heeled sistas or so Jae liked to call them. Brian’s Nina had Jae’s Anna in a lock, using the slap-combo until the HP bar turned red, sparks flew, and Anna Williams was slammed onto the floor, the K.O. sign popping out on screen.

“HAH,” Brian said, flicking Jae on the forehead.

Jae grinned, kicking at him with christmas-patterned socked feet. “I let you win because it’s your birthday.”

“Right.” Brian rolled his eyes, shoving Jae off of him to get up and make hot chocolate for them. It was cold, the heating in the dorms shit as always--they only had money for one pair of hand warmers so they’d decided to sandwich the pair between them, one in Jae’s hoodie sleeve, the other folded into Brian’s flannel. “Plain mallows or flavored mallows?”

“Take me with you,” Jae said, doing that thing that Brian found both irritating and endearing where he clung onto Brian, trying to get on his back despite the fact that he’s taller, longer than Brian--all arms and legs like a plane with too much drag.

“Jesus Christ, Jae, my knees--”

Jae jumped, arms coming up to embrace Brian’s chest, winding around his shoulders as he clambered onto him, swinging his legs around Brian’s waist. “--if you leave, I’ll be stuck here with just one handwarmer, minus bodyheat--”

“--you’re my worst fucking nightmare--” Brian groaned but shifted his weight to pull Jae higher onto his back, arms coming to encircle Jae’s legs to keep him from slipping off his back.

They ventured into the small kitchenette, Jae reaching out to get the cocoa, the marshmallows, their mugs, pouring water into the electric kettle while Brian carried him around, padding around the kitchen at Jae’s instruction. Brian noticed three things, then, somewhere in the banality of making hot chocolate on a winter afternoon: first, that Jae was warm, so much warmer than any store-bought thing, second, he liked the way that his weight felt against him, the way that he pressed his cheek to the top of Brian’s head as they were waiting for the water to boil, and third, that he found himself wondering what it would feel like to place Jae gently on the counter, turn to face him, and press their lips together.

“Hey,” Jae had said, fingers brushing hair away from Brian’s neck. Electricity swept up Brian’s spine, memories from the past year suddenly coming back to him: Jae laughing, Jae jolting upright in bed screaming at five in the morning, Jae just out of the shower with his hair up in a towel like an old lady, Jae dressed up to go to Brian’s mid-semester recital: gray turtleneck, red scarf. Lips brush the shell of his ear. Warm breath. “You have a mole on your neck.”

“Yeah,” Brian said, suddenly nervous.

The electric kettle turned off, the water gurgling as Jae moved to pour its contents into their mugs. The smell of sugar filled the kitchen.

“Okay, I got it,” Jae said, holding up two mugs filled to the brim with marshmallows, teaspoons sticking out from over the lip. “Now bring me to the fridge.”

“What? The fridge is cold. I don’t want to open it.”

“Just do it or I’ll break your knees--” Jae made to bounce, pretend like he was going to wrestle Brian to the ground.

“--christ.” Brian shuffled to the fridge, bracing himself as Jae opened it. They were hit with a mist of cold air. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.”

“Brian?”

“Mmm?”

“I can’t--get it, my hands are full.”

Brian sighed, peering into the fridge. There sat a cake: vanilla and rainbow sprinkles, a candle in the shape of a fox sitting in the middle, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIBRI iced in curling, hot-pink font. “Jae--”

Jae pretended to bite the top of Brian’s head. “Happy birthday. Now, get it.”

Back in the living room, they’d sat, sipping hot chocolate, the cake between them. Jae insisted on taking a million photos of Brian pretending to blow out the candle until it was less fox-shaped than it was a blob of wax with a wick.

“I’ve got one too,” Jae said between photos, turning his neck to reveal a mole right below his ear. He wiggled his eyebrows.“Couple moles.”

“The fuck is a couple mole.” Brian rolled his eyes but found himself unable to stop thinking about pressing his lips to Jae’s mole, kissing the hollow of his neck.

“Make a wish.”

Brian closed his eyes, made a wish, knew that if he wanted to keep his friendship the way it was--warm and sweet and indestructible--it would be one that wouldn’t (couldn’t) come true.

  


When Brian wakes up, Jae has already gotten out of bed. The emptiness is odd, catching him off guard, leaving him disoriented for a moment. It takes him a couple of minutes to remember what day it is, what today is, what it means for both of them. The sounds of Jae’s tinkering around in the living room brings him back--he can hear the tripod being moved out to the living room, lenses being changed, test shots being taken. He stares up at the ceiling. _Right. Right, that’s happening today._

With that, he gets up, walks to the bathroom to take a shower. He looks around at their mingled things: Jae’s hoodie from last night hung up alongside Brian’s pants, their toothbrushes leaning against one another in a mug by the sink, Jae’s periwinkle-blue foaming facial wash beside Brian’s bar of sulfur soap. Brian feels his stomach turn--his heart racing. He feels nauseated. _What if things change? What am I doing?_ He peels off his pajamas, steps into the shower and lets the warm water wash over him: a prayer, some sort of well-wishing. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and thinking of all the times that he and Jae have shared together, all the things they’d gone through over the years, telling himself it won’t be undone in a single moment. It can’t. _Whatever happens, happens._

 

 

Jae looks up from where he’s finished setting up the camera by the couch, checking the lighting, correcting the white balance but making sure none of it looks too-made-up. His heart does a little jump when Brian emerges from the room: dark, wet hair slicked back, chin freshly shaven (Jae can smell the aftershave from where he’s standing), his Christmas sweater that matches Jae’s somehow managing to look good on him despite having a cross-eyed reindeer sewn on the front of it.

“Hey,” Brian says, walking into the kitchen to make them coffee. “You’re up early.”

Jae smiles. “Yeah. I made you a Peanut Butter sandwich, just re-heat it if you want.”

“Coffee?”

“Yeah, I’m almost done.” He sets the timer to five seconds, so they’d have time to arrange themselves later on. Jae takes a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatpants before joining Brian in the kitchen.

Brian pours them both coffees before biting into the sandwich that Jae made him--creamy, no crusts. Brian looks up at him through thick lashes. Their eyes meet. “You okay?”

Jae shrugs, taking a sip from his cup. “I’m--well, Bri--I mean--we’ll always be friends right? We won’t be one of those idiots who sleep with each other and then ruin each other emotionally?”

Brian grins at him, setting his coffee cup and sandwich down before opening his arms wide. “Come here, idiot.”

Jae grins, putting his coffee cup down before stepping into Brian’s arms and hugging him tight. “It’s scary.”

“I know,” Brian says, softly stroking Jae’s back. “We’ll always be Jaehyungparkian, okay? No amount of fucking is going to change that. If we wanted to mess our friendship up, wouldn’t we have done that a long time ago?”

Jae closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Brian’s cheek against his. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

  


They start on the sofa: Brian sitting down, Jae straddling his lap. Both of them try not to breathe too hard--nothing’s even happened yet, but both of them are short of breath. Jae adjusts himself on top of Brian, getting used to the width of Brian’s hips, the way it feels to rest his arms on his shoulders.

Neither of them can remember the script.

“You okay?” Brian asks, tentatively resting his hands on Jae’s waist, moving them a little lower to rest on his hips. Brian’s heart is racing. He tries to ignore the fact that Jae smells incredible, that the way his hair flops into his eyes makes his stomach feel like a pancake flipping on a pan.

Jae nods, trying not to think too hard about how good Brian looks in this light, how the light catches his hair, how warm he feels. “I can’t remember any of the words.”

Brian lets his eyes drift south, toward Jae’s lips. “Me neither.”

They watch each other for a while, both realizing that the other is grinning.

Jae lets out a small, soft laugh. “Okay. BriBri, I’m going to kiss you now.”

Brian lets out a slow breath. “Okay.”

With that, Jae leans down, slowly cups Brian’s cheek with one hand before tilting his head ever-so-slightly. They hold each other’s gaze until they’re too close to each other to see properly, and then let their eyes flutter shut, letting sensation take over as their lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss.

The small hairs on the backs of Brian’s arms stand, Jae feels his face grow hot, feels his breath catch involuntarily--too loud for his liking. Brian likes how it sounds, pulls Jae in softly by the hips. Jae’s arms tighten around him as he licks softly at Brian’s lips, asking for entrance. Brian lets him in, lips parting as Jae’s tongue slowly seeks his out.

It’s torrid but slow, a kind of basking in the taste, the feeling of one another. Brian is disarmed by how oddly passionate Jae is, how his movements are so sure: the way that he licks slow into Brian’s mouth, the way that his fingers bury themselves in his hair, the way that he sucks softly on Brian’s lower lip before they come up for air. Jae is caught off guard by how tentative, how willing, how pliant Brian is under his touch--the way he sighs and opens, tenses and draws in.

When they pull apart, they’re both breathless, hearts pounding. Jae looks at Brian, lips kiss-swollen, cheeks red. He hears the truth come unbidden from his mouth like film sputtering from its reel. “You look gorgeous, Bri.”

“Look who’s talking,” Brian says, voice barely a whisper as he pulls at Jae’s oversized sweater so that it hangs off one shoulder, tracing the line of Jae’s neck, his shoulder with a fingertip.

Jae leans in, kisses Brian again before kissing the lobe of his ear, the small mole on his neck, the hollow of his throat. Brian’s hands slip under Jae’s sweater, letting his hands roam the expanse of Jae’s torso: the milk-skin of his back, his ribs, his chest. Jae sighs, feels himself start to get hard as Brian traces the line of his waistband, lingering on the drawstrings of his sweatpants.

Jae feels a kind of fire ignite inside him at Brian’s tentativeness--a thought running like wild horses down a hill: _what the fuck are you waiting for_? He pulls Brian into another kiss, this time hungrier, more sure. He nips at Brian’s lower lip, sighing into it as Brian’s tongue seeks his out. Jae moves Brian’s hands until he’s holding the drawstrings of Jae’s sweatpants in his fingers. Brian is breathing hard, a rough sound in the back of his throat that is low and high at the same time--pleading, growling with desire.

Jae pulls away long enough to whisper in his ear. “Pull the goddamn strings, Bri.”

The command sets Brian free--he pulls, slipping Jae’s pants lower on his hips like he would the careful wrapping on a long-coveted gift: skin, miles and miles of milk skin over delicate hips, the curve of his ass. Brian squeezes tentatively. Jae bucks his hips, feeling Brian growing hard against him. Brian brings a palm to Jae’s half-hard cock through the fabric slung low on his hips. Jae lets out the softest moan, closing his eyes for a moment, biting on his lower lip to keep himself from being too loud before he tugs at the hems of Brian’s sweater, suddenly eager to see, to touch. Brian lets Jae pull it over his head before tossing the sweater onto the floor. Jae leans down to kiss along the line of Brian’s shoulders, moving lower to kiss the soft flesh of Brian’s nipples before licking at them. He grins as they pucker against his tongue.

“Oh my god,” Brian says as Jae slips a hand between them to cup Brian’s cock through his pajama bottoms. He pulls at Jae’s sweat pants, suddenly wanting them off--wanting all of the clothes keeping them from each other off. “Jae--just--let’s just--clothes suck--”

Jae lets out a small laugh. “Definitely.”

Brian helps Jae get up and off him for a moment, both of them discarding pants, underwear, sweaters until they stand naked in front of each other in nothing but their holiday-themed socks. Brian wonders if he’s still breathing--Jae is gorgeous: tall and pale, all long limbs and big hands, his cock fully hard and leaking against his thigh. Jae watches Brian, wondering how he’d managed to hold him in bed all these years and stand not seeing _this_ , this spectacle: broad and smaller than himself but wider too, sturdy, the curves of flesh on his hips, the way that his inner thighs flare out hands-down the most gorgeous thing that Jae has ever seen. He’s hard with arousal, the head of his cock throbbing as he sits, silent.

Jae glances at the condoms and lube by the coffee table. “How about we lie down?”

Brian nods, transfixed, unable to take his eyes off Jae, his mind cloudy. “Okay.”

Jae grins, pushes Brian gently down on the sofa, situating himself between Brian’s legs so that their cocks are flush with each other. With a long arm, he reaches over for the lube, slathers them both with it until they’re slick. He feels Brian’s heart pounding against his chest. Brian puts a hand on Jae’s hip, letting his thumb dig into the hollows. Jae squirms against him, grinding, rubbing them both against each other: hard and slick with want. He leans down to kiss Brian on the mouth softly only to moan into him when he parts his lips. Brian’s legs come to wrap around Jae’s waist, craving friction, craving more of him--wanting to be around Jae, wanting to feel Jae inside him.

Brian sucks on the lobe of Jae’s ear, kisses the mole--x marks the spot--just below it before sucking on the thin skin of his neck until Jae’ coils above him and they both know it will leave a mark in the morning. Brian bucks his hips, voice deep with want, cracking as he moans against Jae’s throat.

“Jae--oh my god--please--”

“--you okay, Bri?” Jae asks, pulling away a little to look at him, eyes filled with concern.

“--yeah. Yeah, I’m--I just--”

“--do you want to stop--”

“--no.” Brian hesitates before blurting it out: that strange wish, that unspoken thing lying between them like a shadow even as they moved against each other. “I want you to make love to me.”

The rest is a quiet, slow movement: like a dance by moonlight or a conversation shared by the fire. Jae’s mouth finds Brian’s again, kissing him deep and slow and with the force of years of longing and love, of want and restraint. He raises Brian’s legs tighter around his waist, enjoying the softness of his flesh, the fullness of his hips before he moves his slick fingers to circle Brian’s hole, feeling it flutter against his fingertips, slowly moving two fingers in and out on the bloom. Brian tightens around his fingers, bucking his hips both for friction and for depth, moving back against Jae.

“Please, Jae--” Brian moans low and broken, kissing Jae frantically, his hands busy with Jae’s cock, stroking him long and close and slow, letting his palm drag against the head.

Jae pulls his fingers out of Brian slowly, reaching for a condom and rolling it on. He goes in for a last bout of lube, slathering some over the condom, the rest of it on Brian’s hole to make sure it hurts as little as possible. He steadies himself, putting a hand on Brian’s leg, kissing his knee before softly pushing the head of his cock in.

“--oh Jae,” Brian moans, moving a hand to Jae’s hips to guide him in, to push him as far in as he can take. “Oh fuck.”

“You alright?” Jae asks, softly drawing circles on Brian’s hips to help him relax. He reaches for Brian’s hands, kissing his palms before entwining their fingers.

Brian nods. “I’m okay--”

Jae thrusts slow. The slick warmth, the tightness of Brian, the sudden friction is almost enough to drive him mad. He exhales slow and deep, leaning down to pin Brian’s hands over his head as he goes deeper, surer. They keep their fingers entwined, not taking their eyes off of each other.

“I love you, Jae--I f--oh god--I love you--”

“--I love you too, Bri,” Jae says, moving slow, watching the way that a line forms between Brian’s eyebrows as he moans and cries out from pleasure. “Oh god, look at you Bri--you love it. You just enjoy it so much--”

“--I do,” Brian is barely able to mutter as Jae thrusts faster, harder. “Jae--Jae you feel so good fuck--I don’t want this to end--I just--fuck, just fuck me forever--”

Jae grins, leaning over to tease Brian’s nipple with his mouth. “--if only I could--but you feel too good--it’s literally taking every ounce of self-control not to cum--”

Brian smiles, back arching as Jae’s cock comes flush with his prostate. They’re both close. Brian is lost in the frenzy, knows that all of his feelings have come alive, are now awake and wanting. When Jae leans back in to kiss him, their chests flush, wanting to be as close together when they climax, Brian can only think of his mouth, of how in love he is, of how Jae is the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on: his home, his bestfriend, the love of his damn life. Jae goes the fastest, the hardest he can muster. He’s so engrossed in the moment, it hurts him a little knowing that soon it’ll be over. Brian is _Brian. His_ Brian, here, thrashing under him like a storm beneath the heavens. _You’re mine. Please be mine._

Brian cums first, spurting hot and white and thick, pulsing between them. Jae goes faster, strokes Brian through his orgasm as he chases his own climax, throwing his head back, baring his throat as he spills into the condom, suddenly weak in the knees, suddenly extremely vulnerable, suddenly wanting nothing but to hold Brian close and for as long as he can, the physical giving over to the emotional.

He goes limp in Brian’s arms, pulling out slowly. Brian tilts Jae’s chin toward him for a kiss--soft but deep, gentle but passionate. Jae rests his head on Brian’s chest, holding him the way he does when they sleep.

Brian strokes his hair.

Jae kisses Brian’s shoulder. “Bri, I--that was--I mean I--”

Brian feels worry steep slowly into him. _Was it awkward for Jae? Was it too much? Did I scare him by being too into it?_ “--hey, hey--it’s okay. You did so good. Nothing’s going to change, okay? I got you. It’s still me, still your bestfriend. We’re okay.”

Jae goes tense. _Nothing’s going to change. Brian only sees you as a friend._ “Bri--I’m--”

“--hungry?” Brian asks, kissing the top of Jae’s head. “How about I cook us some ramyun?”

Jae blinks, caught off guard by the familiar gesture, by what he realizes he wants. _It is like that with us. It is very much_ **_like that_ ** _with us._

“Okay. Ramyun sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share, they went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And leave the secret there forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote in the summary is from In The Mood for Love, the Wong Kar Wai film. :) Seven chapters after all. 
> 
> ALSO I haven't fully proofread yet because I'm super sleepy but I'll do it in the morning. Please be kind re: typos and things. <3

The ramyun is hot, as usual, steaming from the same steel pot that they’ve owned for six of the seven years they’ve lived together: the bottom blackened from years of use, the once-floral pot holder burnt through and used as a coaster of sorts to keep the heat away from the wood. They sit side-by-side by the foot of the sofa, everything the same, everything in order: knees touching, just barely, shoulders kissing, just close enough, Brian spooning the noodles and soup into the bowls while Jae wipes the fog off of his glasses. They are both freshly showered--they’d washed up separately. Jae cried in the shower from not wanting to wash the scent and the feeling of Brian’s skin on his, Brian had held in the sobs until he’d stepped out of the bathroom to hear Jae setting the table in the living room, the familiar clink of glasses, the sounds of the home that they’d built with each other over the years.

“Did you add spring onions?” Jae asks, slurping at the noodles, the sound of it loud in the too-quiet room.

“Mmmm--and I mixed in some egg,” Brian nods, his mouth already full of the slightly-too-hot soup. “Verdict?”

Everything is the same except Jae can’t stop thinking about the way Brian felt against, around, beneath him, can’t stop thinking about the love sprouting like flowers in his chest--blooming where they don’t belong, too obvious for him to hide. Brian can’t stop thinking about how badly he wants to kiss Jae, to tell him how he feels, to tell him how he’s felt for so long.

“Bueno,” Jae says, shooting him a thumbs up but not meeting his eye.

The cutlery clinks, the steel chopsticks against the ceramic lip of the bowl. The small hairs on their arms brush against each other as Jae reaches over to pour them some cider. Brian flinches. Jae feels sadness curl in his gut like a cat laying down to rest its weary head on its paws.

Brian sighs as he sets his chopsticks down. He pats his belly, turns to Jae, tries to sound nonchalant, tries to flash him a grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“So your bed or mine tonight?”

Jae feels a pang of hurt in his chest. “I think I’ll stay up and edit. You go ahead.”

Brian blinks, watches Jae’s face. Jae knows he’s trying to read him for any trace of sadness, quietly asking what’s wrong--is anything wrong? He flashes Brian a smile, as genuine as he can muster.

“Okay,” Brian finally says. “Your room, then.”

“Okay. I’ll follow in a bit.”

Things are the same, but not really.

  


Brian wakes up and Jae is gone. His room is near-empty: no cables haphazardly left on the desk, no lights standing in the corner of the room with blankets draped over them, no ridiculously big sweaters draped over one another draped over the chair, no toothbrush next to his in the bathroom, no trace of him except a note on the coffee table, taped to the hard drive on which they saved the final cuts.

**_Bri,_ **

**_I’m staying at Pil’s. I took the job at Dowoonie's prod house. I’m sorry for breaking the promise that I asked for. I tried but--I’m not sure I edited this properly. It doesn’t feel right but also, I’m stupid so maybe that’s just that. You can do what you want with it, but I’d ask Sungjin for a second opinion. I’ll send you my half of the down payments monthly. Please don’t worry about me._ **

**_Jae_ **

Brian sits stock-still on the sofa, his hand finding the dent beside him where Jae would lie down, looking up at him. Brian would take off his glasses, press softly into his temples to relieve his tension headache, tell him it’s alright.

Except it isn’t--because Jae isn’t here and Brian doesn’t remember how to live without him, doesn’t want to.

He reaches for his phone, sends a text.

**_I don’t care about the promise. Please come home._ **

The reply is from Dowoon.

**_I took his phone. Don’t think he should be texting when he’s in this state. Sorry, Bri. I’ll update you. Just let him clear his head._ **

Brian feels the tears sting his eyes. His vision blurs, but not before he can hit the call button on Sungjin’s number. _Stupid Kang Younghyun, you’re stupid._

“I heard.”

“Can you come over?”

“See you in fifteen.”

  


“Goddamn,” Sungjin covers his eyes before hitting stop on the video, halfway through. He grimaces, pretends to puke. “Jesus, I can’t watch this anymore. You can’t air that.”

“Why?” Brian asks, eyebrows furrowed. He frowns. He understands what Jae meant about the editing not being his best--sure, fine, it wasn’t as fancy, wasn’t as slick as Jae would usually prefer but Brian thought it was decent as far as amateur videos went: the lighting was good, the angles were good, it was slow and sweet. Domestic, like the prompt had said.

Sungjin takes a deep breath, shuts the laptop. “How do I phrase this without offending you?”

Brian shrugs. “Well. The person I care about most in the world just walked out on me so whatever--”

“--oh don’t do that,” Sungjin says, flicking Brian on the forehead.

“Don’t do what?”

“Throw yourself a pity party when you’re being so--”

“--so _what_ ? _I’m_ the one who gets left and somehow I’m the one who--”

“--you’re so fucking dense, Brian,” Sungjin blurts out. “I swear to god. How did you even get through film school? Aren’t screenwriters taught about foreshadowing or whatever the fuck it’s called?”

“--what? Well sure. I’m not sure how that’s applicable to the situation, but in literary theory I got a pretty high grade--”

“--okay, if you breathe a word of this to Jae, he’ll murder me, but since you two seem err, emotionally inept and kind of idiotic in this situation, let me help you out.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be offensive--”

“--ah, well, fuck it. If you’re offended, then you deserve it. The reason why you can’t air that is because the thing that makes porn porn is that it’s film lending to, well, fucking. That’s the sole purpose of it: a kind of carnal fantasy that people make up. They know they’re being watched. That... _thing_ you made me watch. That isn’t having sex, that’s making love. That...that is stuff that no one but the people involved should witness.”

“What but it’s not like that--”

“--wake up and smell the feelings, Kang Younghyun. You literally tell him to make love to you. And don’t tell me that was in the script because I know for a _fact_ that it wasn’t.”

“I mean, it’s weird to tell your friend to f--”

“--right, cause you weren’t _already_ filming a porn parody, right--”

“--well, why’d he have to go and leave? I mean, we promised things would stay the same--”

“--okay,” Sungjin says. “So. Let’s pretend that you’re Jae. Just hold onto this thought for one hot minute: say, you’re in love with your bestfriend and you have been for what, like, seven years? And then one day it finally happens: you two finally get to put all of that built up tension to good use and you can’t deny it anymore and you feel like you’re going to burst with emotion and then suddenly, this idiot tells you things are going to stay the same and acts like nothing happened. How the fuck would you feel?”

“But see, Jae isn’t in love with me.” Brian says, matter of factly. “He just--he can’t be. I mean, we’ve known each other forever and he’s so funny and good looking and I’m sure that there are other guys who--”

“--ahhh,” Sungjin says, nodding, his expression one of mock-seriousness. “Right. All of those other eligible guys that he hasn’t dated in what, four? Five years?”

“He’s just picky, you know him. The intellectual elitist--no one’s ever smart enough or funny enough or whatever enough--”

“--because no one is ever _you_ enough? Have you ever thought of that?”

“I didn’t want to. I _don’t_ want to--because I’ll die from the disappointment if it isn’t true,” Brian says quietly. “I mean, he’s my bestfriend and I was content with how things were for the most part. Because, okay, hold onto _this_ thought for a while: say you _have_ been in love with your bestfriend for seven years, wouldn’t _you_ be afraid to lose him? I mean it isn’t like that with us because couples hurt each other and fight and shit like that and we just like to do sweet things for each other and cuddle and I just want to be with him forever, you know? I mean, that’s why I was acting like nothing happened. I just want to be with him forever.”

Brian’s lower lip trembles, tears spill down his cheeks.

  
“So, let me get this right. Because you’re in love with him, you didn’t pursue him,” Sungjin looks at him point-blank, hands him a wad of tissue. “You know how fucked up that sounds, right?”

  


“He just doesn’t feel the same way,” Jae says, knocking back a shot of Tequila as they sit at Wonpil’s kitchen table. It’s two in the afternoon. Wonpil and Dowoon look at each other before turning their gaze back to Jae. Dowoon rolls his eyes as if to say _you tell him._

“How do you know that?” Wonpil asks gently, patting Jae’s back. “Did you tell him how you feel?”

“No,” Jae says defensively. “I’m not crazy.”

Dowoon sighs, exasperated. “Well, I mean. Not to chide you here, hyungie--but if you don’t tell someone how you feel, you can’t really tell--”

“--HUNGRY? WANT ME TO COOK RAMYUN? Is that your idea of pillow talk? And he’s always saying _if things are gonna happen, they would’ve already happened_ or _it’s not like that with us_ \--"

\--but have you ever corrected him? Ever said anything to indicate otherwise?”

Jae shakes his head. “Why would I do that?”

“Wait,” Wonpil says, holding up a hand. “I thought that he said he loved you?”

“Yeah, but that’s when we were you know--people will say anything when they’re…in that state.”

“Hate to break it to you, but I’ve literally never said that to anyone while screwing if I didn’t mean it,” Wonpil says sternly. “It doesn’t equate.”

Jae shrugs. “Maybe he meant as a friend.”

“Right,” Dowoon says. “I’m _sure_ that’s what he meant which is why after that he told you to get balls-deep in him.”

“The disrespekt--” Jae hits Dowoon upside his head.

“Don’t hit the baby,” Wonpil smacks Jae on the forehead. “And for god’s sake, just fucking tell Brian how you feel. What more do you have to lose anyway? I mean, no apartment, no job, and _then_ no Brian. Is it really worth what, your pride? I mean, obviously you two feel _some_ sort of way.” 

A car pulls up in the driveway. Jae freezes--he would know the sound of that engine anywhere. The doorbell rings.

 

 

Jae is sitting, bewildered at the kitchen table--cheeks alcohol-flushed (Brian wagers two shots of Tequila or Bourbon). His hair flops into his eyes. His hands are hidden in the sleeves of his oversized blue buttondown. Brian feels his heart jump in his chest at the sight of him. He looks tired but gorgeous--still the most beautiful person that Brian has ever seen. Their eyes meet.

He smiles tentatively, nods toward Wonpil’s guest room.

“Can we talk?”

Jae blinks once, twice.

Dowoon flicks Jae’s ear. “Go on, hyungie.”

“Please,” Sungjin says, coming in through the front door. “For the love of god.”

Wonpil shrugs. “If you don’t go, I’ll kick you both out of my house and you’ll be forced to have this talk in the car.”

At that, Jae sighs, gets up, walks toward the guest room.

Once inside, Jae sits on the bed, Brian stands with his back to the door. They watch each other as if in a chess match, both unsure what to say, both knowing that whatever is said will change everything.

“So,” Brian says, clearing his throat. “Maybe I should go first--”

“--no,” Jae interrupts, taking off his glasses and rubbing his temples. “It’s okay. Me first. I have a lot to get off my chest.”

Brian takes a deep breath but nods, wishing he could help Jae with the headache that he knows he’s having. “Okay, then.”

“Maybe after I say this, you might end up hating me and you might never talk to me again but I think you have the right to know,” Jae says softly.

“I could never hate you--”

“--I’ve been in love with you for years,” Jae blurts out. His lower lip trembles. He’s looking at the floor. “From the first moment that I met you, I thought you were probably the hottest person that I’d ever met. And then I got to know you better and fuck you were the funniest, most generous, kindest person that I’d ever met too. I said I’d keep it on the down-low but--well, here we are.”

“Oh.” Brian feels like someone’s punched him in the gut--but in a good way. “Why would I hate you for that?”

Jae shrugs. “Because I mean--I know you don’t feel like that about me and all this time, you thought that things weren’t like that with us and here I was, this idiot creeper just feeling these stupid things--"

Brian lets out a small laugh.

“Jesus,” Jae says. “You don’t have to make fun of me--”

“--what makes you so sure I don’t feel the same?” Brian is grinning now, watching Jae pout as he punches the mattress.

Jae shrugs. “Well, for one thing, you were always fucking saying it to everyone. Every time someone says my name, the first thing out of your mouth is _it’s not like that_ or _he’s my bestfriend_ and I mean I know I am. But you know. Still stings. And you’re always going on about that _if it was gonna happen, it already would’ve happened._ Whatever. What’s that saying? When people tell you who they are, believe them the first time.”

“Christ, well, if you’re going to believe in _that_ ,” Brian rolls his eyes. “Don’t you remember the very first thing that I told you at that orientation?”

Jae’s eyebrows furrow. “Hi, I’m Brian???”

“No, you idiot,” Brian says. “I said _yeah, thats me. Roommate guy._ So how about you believe that I _am_ roommate guy and that I want to be your roommate forever?”

“My roommate forever? What the hell is this some creepy contract shit--”

“--no, you idiot. I’m saying that I want you.”

Jae blinks. His lower lip quivers, left eye twitches a little. “Wait, what?”

Brian crosses the room, plops down on the bed beside Jae. “I want to be your roommate forever. I want to wake up next to you and calm you down through your stupid nightmares and make fun of you when you drool on my shirt--”

“--Bri, I--”

“--but I also want to be more than that,” Brian says quietly, playing with a loose thread on the duvet. “Have you ever met someone so wonderful that the thought of losing them just makes your insides feel like someone’ wringing them out to dry? Whenever I think of relationships, I think of them as beginning-middle-end. And I guess that’s what I meant by _it’s not like that with us._ We don’t hurt each other, you know? We bicker and we tease but we don’t _fight_ the way that other couples fight. And I feel comfortable with you. I feel at home when you’re in my arms, when you’re being your stupid, silly self--I figured that was enough if it meant getting to keep you for as long as I could.”

“Oh,” Jae says, still trying to make sense of everything Brian’s said. “Last night--I wanted to say it but then you started with the ramyun--”

“--I didn’t want you to think that I was freaked out or that I was going to suddenly become this asshole who expected sex or I don’t know. I was scared to think that I could’ve hurt you. So. Ramyun.”

“You make _everything_ about food, I swear to god.” Jae smiles slowly, putting his glasses on. Brian swims into focus. 

Brian grins, nudges Jae. “So. Well, what would’ve you said last night if I wasn’t a blundering idiot? Pretend it’s a do-over.”

Jae’s cheeks flush. “I wanted to say that I love you. And that it was really good. I mean. The...how’d you put it? Love-making? I really liked that. And kissing you. Wow. It was--”

“--kissing you was electric,” Brian interrupts. “I thought I was going to die.”

Jae laughs. “Yeah, that. And what would’ve _you_ said?”

Brian grins, turns to look at Jae. He lifts a hand to cup Jae’s cheek before leaning in slowly, their noses brushing against each other, their lips so close that when Brian speaks, Jae feels the warmth of his breath. Slowly, Brian presses their lips together in a soft kiss. Jae feels his heart jump to his throat as he kisses Brian back, putting a hand to the back of his nape as the kiss deepens, all slick lips and soft sighs.

“Wow,” Jae says when they pull apart."I love you."

Brian grins. “I love you too, Jae. I’m sorry for acting like such an idiot. Please be my roommate-slash-boyfriend?”

Jae smiles wide, all crescent-moon eyes and bright teeth. “You already know I’m going to say yes.”

Brian rolls his eyes but leans in to give Jae a soft kiss on the cheek. “Come on, let’s go home.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this fic and to cali4sell for sending me that curiouscat prompt. I’ll admit, this amateur pornographers AU is something that’s been on my mind for a while but it was their prompt that made me really incorporate the domestic bestfriends dynamic so deeply. 
> 
> A new AU will be going up this Sunday (UTC+8), right in time for the Christmas season. Hint: Toronto, immortality, a red scarf, a sword in a heart. That kind of thing. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227)


	8. Post-It Notes Available // Not An Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Process notes for this fic are now available.

Hello, everyone! I know it's taken a bit of time--but here you go. As usual, announcing this here via a separate entry so that the reader's experience of the fic isn't disrupted. Post-it or process notes are now up on my Tumblr. You can click [here to view them.](http://teenuviel1227.tumblr.com/post/173573146641/post-it-notes-we-were-sitting-on-that-sofa)


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